Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

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TheDukester
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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby TheDukester » 20 Jun 2010 21:13

Not to mention Becky's "proofing" and "line editing" and "her final blue-line edit" and all of that other shit that TheJacket is always babbling about.

So, in summary: three mental midgets, incapable of producing an interesting story either together or separately.

(I wonder if each book actually gets more boring every time they trade off one of their edits ... :think: )
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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby Nekhrun » 20 Jun 2010 21:14

TheDukester wrote:(I wonder if each book actually gets more boring every time they trade off one of their edits ... :think: )

I suppose it's possible. They get bored with the first drafts and add more 'splosions each time.
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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby Hunchback Jack » 21 Jun 2010 00:11

Lady Jessica stood in her chamber with the familiar packing wardrobe open before her. Its sides bore the stickers and date stamps of transport authorities, showing the many planets and star systems she had visited since the time she first left Wallach IX as a young woman to become the concubine of Duke Leto Atreides. Jessica had seen a great deal since then, had experienced supreme joy and profound tragedy.


This is such a nothing paragraph, in any case. It tells us nothing new about past events, it tells us nothing about Jessica. The final sentence, an attempt to elicit empathy from the reader, is a hollow and meaningless statement, not explained or expanded upon in subsequent sentences.

We're not seeing a writer at work here, this is KJA just filling words on a page.

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Last edited by Hunchback Jack on 21 Jun 2010 01:51, edited 1 time in total.
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merkin muffley
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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby merkin muffley » 21 Jun 2010 00:47

I think the five people that went to that writing workshop could bring a lawsuit against Kevin J. Anderson.

EXHIBIT A:
Jessica had seen a great deal since then, had experienced supreme joy and profound tragedy.


Someone contact Frank Walden.
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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby Lundse » 21 Jun 2010 03:57

Its sides bore the stickers and date stamps of transport authorities, showing the many planets and star systems she had visited since the time she first left Wallach IX...


:lol:

Wow. This speculative fiction is really hard; apparently, you have imagine this whole other universe which is different from the one you live in - except that it must of course also have transport authorities and all the other stuff I, the writer/dicthiker, is surrounded by. I'm sure the idiots also imagine Dune as having regular police stations and fire departments...

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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby lotek » 21 Jun 2010 04:50

Lady Jessica stood in her chamber with the familiar packing wardrobe open before her. Its sides bore the stickers and date stamps of transport authorities, showing the many planets and star systems she had visited since the time she first left Wallach IX as a young woman to become the concubine of Duke Leto Atreides. Jessica had seen a great deal since then, had experienced supreme joy and profound tragedy.


What they should have written(it might not be great but anything goes after reading that drivel):

The Lady Jessica pondered on her situation, amidst the various tokens and souvenirs her Bene Gesserit training had taught her to be old-fashionned sentimentalism. Leaving Wallach IX and the safety of the School to bind her destiny to the Atreides had been the source of great sadness but it had brought an unexpected reward; love.
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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby Nekhrun » 21 Jun 2010 07:41

merkin muffley wrote:I think the five people that went to that writing workshop could bring a lawsuit against Kevin J. Anderson.

EXHIBIT A:
Jessica had seen a great deal since then, had experienced supreme joy and profound tragedy.


Someone contact Frank Walden.

You don't get it. Her joy was supreme and the tragedy profound. This tells me that she has experienced such a wide range of joy and tragedy that words can't even truly describe it. If joy was seeing your young Jedi offspring again after they'd been kidnapped for the 10th time and tragedy was a Sun Crusher then Jessica has felt it all. Wow, I feel so connected to her.

:whistle:
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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby SandChigger » 21 Jun 2010 07:53

:lol:

Lady Jessica stood naked in her chamber with her travel wardrobe open before her, clothing and accessories pulled from it and scattered around the room, as though they had been tossed about by a telekinetic tornado. With Gurney separated from her by 100 parsecs of planets and star systems, what a time to have forgotten to pack the ultravibe!

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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby Nekhrun » 21 Jun 2010 08:56

Now I'm connected!
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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby dunaddict » 21 Jun 2010 13:08

That's just... wrong. :oops:

Anyway....
SandChigger wrote:I want to get it finished and go back and do the ones for the Legends books (provided some kind soul out there doesn't take pity on me and just shoot me first! :lol: )

Hey, great idea. (not the shooting part) Maybe Freakzilla can add all the chapters from the McDunes to the Reading Group forum. Only 10 x 100 chapters+epilogues to read, summarize and forget.

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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby SandChigger » 21 Jun 2010 19:33

dunaddict wrote:Maybe Freakzilla can add all the chapters from the McDunes to the Reading Group forum.

Ack! Blasphemer! Burn him! :twisted:

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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby lotek » 21 Jun 2010 19:38

jessica
winds of Dune...

queef???


The queef of Dune?

and btw the plural would be queefs I guess but queeves sounds good(no pun intented) otherwise I would have said queeves sound good, but then what do I know; I'm just an old fart!
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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby Freakzilla » 21 Jun 2010 19:39

SandChigger wrote:
dunaddict wrote:Maybe Freakzilla can add all the chapters from the McDunes to the Reading Group forum.

Ack! Blasphemer! Burn him! :twisted:



:lol:

(Not that they would take long to summarize.)
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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby SandChigger » 21 Jun 2010 20:26

lotek wrote:and btw the plural would be queefs I guess but queeves sounds good(no pun intented) otherwise I would have said queeves sound good, but then what do I know; I'm just an old fart!

Oh stop pussyfooting and farting around about it and just go ahead and type it and get it over with already. :roll:


:lol:

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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby Hunchback Jack » 21 Jun 2010 22:00

Freakzilla wrote:
SandChigger wrote:
dunaddict wrote:Maybe Freakzilla can add all the chapters from the McDunes to the Reading Group forum.

Ack! Blasphemer! Burn him! :twisted:



:lol:

(Not that they would take long to summarize.)


A thread for each chapter of NuDune would probably break the board tho. Better not risk it.

HBJ
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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby Freakzilla » 21 Jun 2010 22:02

Hunchback Jack wrote:
Freakzilla wrote:
SandChigger wrote:
dunaddict wrote:Maybe Freakzilla can add all the chapters from the McDunes to the Reading Group forum.

Ack! Blasphemer! Burn him! :twisted:



:lol:

(Not that they would take long to summarize.)


A thread for each chapter of NuDune would probably break the board tho. Better not risk it.

HBJ


I wouldn't do it anyway simply because I don't want to put myself through the torture of reading them again.

I was thinking of maybe doing FH's "Other Books" though.
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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby lotek » 22 Jun 2010 05:00

SandChigger wrote:
lotek wrote:and btw the plural would be queefs I guess but queeves sounds good(no pun intented) otherwise I would have said queeves sound good, but then what do I know; I'm just an old fart!

Oh stop pussyfooting and farting around about it and just go ahead and type it and get it over with already. :roll:


:lol:



yeah you're right
I'd better get it out...

My official new name for that book I've never read and still feel the urge to criticize:
Jessica to the Queeves of Dune

thanks Chig I feel good now, almost relieved...
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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby Tleszer » 22 Jun 2010 05:53

lotek wrote:My official new name for that book I've never read and still feel the urge to criticize:
Jessica to the Queeves of Dune

thanks Chig I feel good now, almost relieved...

Relieved? I feel... violated. :lol:
DUNE, as interpreted by a blue man with a green tushie

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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby lotek » 22 Jun 2010 06:05

don't worry it only does that the first time around :)
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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby Tleszer » 22 Jun 2010 06:07

Thanks! I feel so much better now!
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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby lotek » 22 Jun 2010 06:09

told ya :mrgreen:
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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby SandChigger » 22 Jun 2010 06:26

Tleszer wrote:Relieved? I feel... violated. :lol:

Yeah... but you ALWAYS feel violated. :roll:

:shock:

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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby dunaddict » 22 Jun 2010 11:47

Freakzilla wrote:
SandChigger wrote:
dunaddict wrote:Maybe Freakzilla can add all the chapters from the McDunes to the Reading Group forum.

Ack! Blasphemer! Burn him! :twisted:

:lol:
(Not that they would take long to summarize.)

Yep, McDune chapters already are their own summary. Just copy and paste the whole lot. That way you don't even have to read them anymore. :)

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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby SadisticCynic » 22 Jun 2010 14:59

dunaddict wrote:
Freakzilla wrote:
SandChigger wrote:
dunaddict wrote:Maybe Freakzilla can add all the chapters from the McDunes to the Reading Group forum.

Ack! Blasphemer! Burn him! :twisted:

:lol:
(Not that they would take long to summarize.)

Yep, McDune chapters already are their own summary. Just copy and paste the whole lot. That way you don't even have to read them anymore. :)


I suggest a refinement of that strategy.

Select 5 chapters at random. Then reference all other chapters to those 5. That should do it. :)
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Re: Jessica to the Winds of Dune inconsistencies!

Postby merkin muffley » 22 Jun 2010 15:12

SadisticCynic wrote:
dunaddict wrote:
Freakzilla wrote:
SandChigger wrote:
dunaddict wrote:Maybe Freakzilla can add all the chapters from the McDunes to the Reading Group forum.

Ack! Blasphemer! Burn him! :twisted:

:lol:
(Not that they would take long to summarize.)

Yep, McDune chapters already are their own summary. Just copy and paste the whole lot. That way you don't even have to read them anymore. :)


I suggest a refinement of that strategy.

Select 5 chapters at random. Then reference all other chapters to those 5. That should do it. :)


Replace all the verbs with "queef," as in...

Jessica had queefed a great deal since then, had queefed supreme joy and profound tragedy.
"I must admit, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor...."


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