Dune: The Nu Chronicles

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Dune: The Nu Chronicles

Postby Ampoliros » 28 Mar 2009 15:14

A Beginning is a very awesome time. Know then that it is the Year %$&%#$. These are the words of a nameless historian or historians, doubted by some, believed by few, and all true. Except for the parts we made up to get around International Copyright Laws. Edited by a senile and tortured Cymek decendant, complied by liars and Talifans, only these Holy words can reveal the true intentions of the Galaxa-verses First and awesomest ultimate KH; K-Jah!

The rules are few, the editing worse, the consistancies inconstant, prepare yourself to exit your Mundane world and enter the Ultra-sands of NuDune: The Nu Chronicles!!!!!!! WHOA AWESOME! Few will enter, fewer will return. None will exit unscathed!

Here now are the holy introductions of the God-midget herself, Norma. Thou must not edit, thou must leave the holy words as Goddess-Midget herself delivers them to thouy wholy and incomplete brain. Thou can writest as thou pleased, as long as thou aren't seriously thingking. Consistency is a lie! Imagine thy words as if walking amongst DUNEs, or even better, as if thy words of they most holy God-Midget comest upon you while walking nay, hacking in her service! Let not the previous words deny your holy awesome transliteration! Suffer not a grammarian to interject!

Go thoust and makest the most awesomest shit up that you can!


---Excerpt from the Leavings of the Sand-book. Chapter MXCXVIICX.


CHAPTER WON

SandChigger wrote:Irulan tried rewriting the scene from a different perspective, but it still did not work. As her mind was wandering in search of a solution, she suddenly remembered those three feverish nights of wild abandon spent in the arms of Korba ... Korba with his oversize head and massive, sensual lips. ... Oh, those hot, burning flaps of moist flesh that had explored every inch of her!


Redstar wrote:Irulan sat at her desk, her hand gripping the pen as she worked to refine the final draft of Paul of Dune before it released to the public. Her writing grew more furied until finally she ripped the paper, and in her anger tossed it against the wall... Paul was lost to her, and she felt her heart pang with sadness. It was then that she felt a hand tightly grip onto her shoulder, and before she turned she knew who it was: that strong, powerful grip; the presence of lust and desire in the air; the boundless compassion... It could only be one man. She turned and looked into the eyes of her Feyd, his red hair curled into neat locks over his brow. Granted, he was a ghola crafted by the Tleilaxu, but he had had his memories awakened and could warm her body as he did on Giedi Prime, in another lifetime, so long ago...


Hunchback Jack wrote:"Alia looked into Duncan dead silver eyes. Even with all the experience her Other Memories gave her, she could discern no hint of emotion in those expressionless orbs. But Duncan was not closed to her; the way his hands roamed over her ripe, yearning body showed her everything she needed to know about how he felt." -HBJ
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Postby Ampoliros » 28 Mar 2009 15:16

CHAPTER TOO

Redstar wrote:The epic continuation of the tale of the indomitable Feyd ghola!

"You were thinking of him. My cousin," said Feyd. Irulan turned to face him, a half-smile on her lips as she looked into his eyes with slight desperation. "The mentat in you reveals these things so easily, don't they?" she said at last. His eyes moved to the wall, and he frowned. "No. I just know you, even in this life. Your heart is as open to me as your body is." The princess fell into Feyd's arms, her face buried in his strong, naked chest. At last she looked up at him, unsure what to say next. Finally: "You're different from... before." She reached up, her finger curling through his striking red hair. "It wasn't so red before." The never-baron grinned slightly, answering her open mind. "The Tleilaxu changed many things. The hair is just a side-effect, of my Harkonnen genes more pronounced." He paused a moment, then "Sometimes I feel as if I'm a different person. I have the same body," he paused again as his hand unconsciously went to the scar from Paul's knife, then "but those memories feel far-off. Another man." There was silence between them before Irulan let her hand move to his cheek, caressing his face as he looked down at her. "You're the same man as ever. The man I loved, and will love." Feyd smiled half-heartedly, and wondered if she noticed the difference. But he lifted her, carrying her to the bed in silence. And as he gently knotted the tight cords around her begging flesh, he could not help but think of that one person that always came back to his mind, in the darkest of nights or the most intimate of moments. It was always Paul, the man that had killed him and was now himself dead. But these thoughts had grown surreal, hazy. He was beginning to feel like it wasn't Paul. Someone different, but who still called him just as powerfully. A girl. A girl he'd been meant to meet, in his previous life...


LATER THAT SAME MORNING

Ampoliros wrote:Hayt looked at the man his previous life had called Mentor, compatriot and friend. Gurney Halleck had been sent by Jessica to test this 'Duncan', to see if he really was a true reincarnation of that famous warrior. "On Guard! I'd hate to see if you've lost everything I've taught you, Hayt." "Gurney-man, I'll show you a few tricks the Tlaylaxu taught me. Tricks only a Zensunni-Mentant Warrior can pull off!" The pair stripped to the waist and oiled down, then stepped onto the training mat. Gurney flexed his muscles, old from too many wars but well defined and honed to a razor's edge. Hayt admired the elder warriors physique. The perfection reminded him of that he had experienced in his lover Alia's body. Gurney also realized that Hayt's perfected abs, glimmering with sweat and oil, showed their Atradies perfection. As the two men wrestled, testing each other's limits, straining under the hot lamps, their warrior's bond was re-kindled. Gurney admired an expert feint, Hayt saluted his opponent at an expert pin. The scent of Gurney's prespiration filled Hayt's nostrils, igniting memories of cold nights the two warriors had spent, deep in enemy territory, in the service of their Duke. He knew, and gurney could see it in his eyes, the bond between these two warriors was deep, deeper than brotherhood, more intimate than...

"Hayt!" Gurney exclaimed. "Mood is for cattle or loveplay, not for fighting!" With that, Gurney executed a perfect kidney punch, winding and dropping his opponent. Yes, Jessica would be pleased with his report, Hayt had responded as she had suspected. The crippling affection Gurney had planted would work well as a method of controlling this Ghola, and by proxy, the Imperial Regent.
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Postby Ampoliros » 28 Mar 2009 15:40

CHAPTER THREE AND FORE

Paul looked out over the desert. He walked stumbling, cursing his blind eyes, lurching towards the future. It shown like a bacon on the horizon. He knew, that because of how much the universe hated his corrupt empire, corrupter than Shaddam's own corrupt empire, but not as corrupt as the old earth Star Wars Empire, or even the Roman Empire the Third Reich, and the Greek Empires from which he was decended combined; Paul knew his followers would never stop seeking to follow him, their zeal would cause them to search for him forever. It was only Stilgar's presence and command that had caused the Fremen fanatics to wait until Paul was out of sight over the Dunes of Rakis, as they now called it, before they followed him into the desert. Paul knew that if they found him, they would also find his destination, suggested by his mother and the Lover-warrior Gurney Halleck. Paul was headed to Jacurutu, not because it was a source of Talifan Spice, but because there and only there would any and every fremen be truely equal. By that he knew that any outsider would be slain immediately and drained of their water with Fremen Death Sponges. Paul could hear the cries in his Other Memory of the brave Fremen warriors who had rebelled agaisnt him and had been sentanced to endure this torture while still alive, the worst insult one could do to a true fremen.
Again, Paul looked over the dune's toward the horizon. His prescience was dwindling, as Leto II's took over. He could still hear his son's telepathic voice, comforting him. It was Leto that had suggested that Paul follow Jessica's advice. His son had seen the future, and it was in Book sales. millions of Irulans books would sell on billions of worlds, even though the empire covered trillions of planets. But one day, those sales would dwindle, and people would need new reasons to buy Irulan's pampered histories. Leto called it his Golden Path, and in it, Paul would need to play the role his son had set out for him, the path of The Preacher!
Paul sipped from his hip flask of spice whisky, cursing his lack of foresight in bringing only his flask and not a literjon of water. the ultra-awesome stillsuit he wore as symbol of his leadership was extremely effecient at reclaiming his water, but Paul had forgotten to repair the catch pockets before leaving, and his precious life's water was trapped in them. he debated using his Imperial Knife, a gift from Fenring, to puncture the pockets and so gain a few drops from them, but the knife was poisoned and he could not afford to allow its sporeific poison to slow his muscles while he was in the desert. He pulled out his macrobinoculars and scanned the dune in front of him but his view was blocked by it's massive side. "DAMN" he thought. Why did The Hand of God hate him so!
Paul barely heard the whine of the approaching Hunter seekers. He dodged, using his elite prana-bindu-fu moves to jump away at the last second. the first seeker tore across his chest, ruptureing his catch pockets, and water started to spill out. He flexed and jumped, executing a perfect backflip. "If only the Imperial Olympic committe was here to see that!" he thought. As he flipped, he let the last few drops of water pour into his mouth, refreshing him. The hunter had left a powerful poison, undetectable by Paul's portable snooper which hung over him disguised in the chandalier. He adjusted his metabolism, canceling the poison's affects. He instantly knew who his adversary was. Ghola-Bludd was back! And he must have come with his new team-mates, Fenring and Margot. They had finally come to avenge the death of their daughter, the KH Marie.
As the glint of five more H-Seekers appeared over the dune, Bludd called out to mock his former Emperor. "You shouldn't have tried to have me executed! I only wanted you to be proud of me, and to be famous or infamous, I didnt care! Now you will die, my former-lord!" Suddenly, The whine of a Ornithopter buzzed overhead, and two men in fremen cloaks jumped awesomely like in an action movie to Paul's aid. "My lord! let us fight back to back in a triangle, just as we were taught in Sardaukar Sunday School!" Paul was heartened to see his old allies, Liet Kines and Thufer Hawat. Bludd and Fenring's eyes widened, as they realized that the fake deaths of Hawat and Liet had been nothing but faints within faints within faints, played out by the galaxa-verse's finest feint master, PAUL MUADIB!
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Postby DuneFishUK » 28 Mar 2009 17:01

CHAPTER FIVE

Alia had could still taste the pungent spice in her opulent mouth. She had consumed huge great big quantities in recent weeks. She closed her eyes and called on her ancestral memories. Alia had anscestral memories because she was a Reverend Mother. She had been born that way - awakened in her mother Jessica's womb before she had been born when her mother Jessica had drunk the water of Life. Jessica, Alia's mother, had drunk the water of Life when she and Paul, who was Alia's brother and who had now walked out into the desert, so that she might become a reverend mother. The Water of life awakened her ancestral memories, however her drinking the Water of Life also awakened Alia's memories. Alia, still an unborn child in Jessica's, her mother's womb, had been suddenly confronted by her ancestral memories and all the powers of a Revernd Mother while still in her mother Jessica's womb. She was born prematurely with all the special powers and ancestral memories of a Reverend Mother. This meant that Alia was a Reverend Mother from since before she was born. She had been awakened in her mother Jessica's womb before she had been born when her mother Jessica had drunk the water of Life. Jessica, Alia's mother, had drunk the water of Life when she and Paul, who was Alia's brother and who had now walked out into the desert, so that she might become a reverend mother. The Water of life awakened her ancestral memories, however her drinking the Water of Life also awakened Alia's memories. Alia, still an unborn child in Jessica's, her mother's womb, had been suddenly confronted by her ancestral memories and all the powers of a Revernd Mother while still in her mother Jessica's womb. She was born prematurely with all the special powers and ancestral memories of a Reverend Mother. This meant that Alia was a Reverend Mother from since before she was born.She was born prematurely with all the special powers and ancestral memories of a Reverend Mother. This meant that Alia was a Reverend Mother from since before she was born. She had been awakened in her mother Jessica's womb before she had been born when her mother Jessica had drunk the water of Life. Jessica, Alia's mother, had drunk the water of Life when she and Paul, who was Alia's brother and who had now walked out into the desert, so that she might become a reverend mother. The Water of life awakened her ancestral memories, however her drinking the Water of Life also awakened Alia's memories. Alia, still an unborn child in Jessica's, her mother's womb, had been suddenly confronted by her ancestral memories and all the powers of a Reverend Mother while still in her mother Jessica's womb. She was born prematurely with all the special powers and ancestral memories of a Reverend Mother. This meant that Alia was a Reverend Mother from since before she was born. Alia's Mother, Jessica, was also a Reverend Mother but she wasn't one from birth. Jessica, who was Alia's mother, had drunk the Water of Life which gave her special powers.

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Postby Redstar » 28 Mar 2009 21:58

CHAPTER SEX (to come)

Feyd awoke into the gentle twilight of the Dune night. He turned to look at Irulan, her body exhausted and resting from the night of sex he'd given her. There were still marks from the cords he'd tightly knotted around her, and Feyd felt a pang of guilt. He silently got up from the bed, clothing himself in a large robe. Ever since he'd re-awakened, Feyd had viewed his "memories" as something far-off. He had many desires, many urges that he now felt ashamed of. He was in a state of mind where he was not yet sure if he had truly awakened... That maybe his mind was not yet his own. He swung a scarf around his face, and pulled a hood over his head. Though the Harkonnens were all but dead, Irulan had warned him that the Fremen still frenzied to kill. He crept out of the chamber into a vast hallway, walking into the darkness. He did not know where he was going. Though Feyd had been in these halls before, as a Harkonnen ruler, he still felt lost and out of place. Even now, his mind was somewhere else as he simply walked and walked in whatever way his body pulled him. And all the while his mind returned to that one person. At first it was Paul, but now, the further he walked, the person formed into that girl-child he had no memories of, yet felt immensely connected to. Who was she? Why was she invading his mind? Feyd stumbled and fell against the wall, his arm stretched out and balancing him. What have the Tleilaxu done to me? What have they conditioned me for? Again, his legs started to move by themselves as he was pulled closer and closer to... to something. No matter the number of situations he ran through his Mentat-styled mind, Feyd was not prepared for when he finally pushed open a door. A door he recognized, from that life he had long ago lived. It was his room, as he had once stayed in during the Arrakis Affair. He opened the door and crept in, his eyes adjusting to the dark until he spotted a figure on the balcony. He moved forward, his breath hurried and his mind blazing as bright as his hair until he realized that the figure was a child. A girl-child, her dark hair fallen over her shoulders and above her hood. Then she turned to face him...

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Postby Ampoliros » 29 Mar 2009 02:06

Chapter Seven

Paul Wept.
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Postby DuneFishUK » 29 Mar 2009 06:37

CHAPTER ATE

Irulan gazed out over the jagged mountains just North of Arrakeen. It was out here that she did most of her writing these days. She had long given up sitting at her desk and writing her books out by hand. Today she carried only an Ixian dictation loop, her scribes back at the palace would transcribe her words. She had given up asking anyone for facts about his life or even referencing earlier books on the subject by a true Fremen writer called Farok who had known Muad'dib personally and had understood him and his motives. Fuck Fraok, and everyone who likes Fraok, she thought, it was better this way. Paul's life was long and complex and her being able to hike out books quickly was far more important than checking actual facts. Besides, she thought, The Faithful deserve more rapid fire action. Irulan gazed out over the jagged rocky mountains North of Arrakeen again and began dictating. Despite her hours spent walking every day she had put on weight and looked increasingly unhealthy. Still she walked. All the true believers liked her because she was the best Dune author ever, and she had a deadline to meet.

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Postby chanilover » 29 Mar 2009 15:26

CHAPTER NEIN

Her lips trembling against the harsh coldness of her dictating machine, Irulan's full breasts heaved to the rhythm of her near-insatiable appetites. Visions of Fremen with their taut backsides displayed in skin tight stillsuits caused her to let out a whimper, a sigh which encapsulated her yearning.

"Something wrong, Irulan?" asked her lady-in-waiting, Kuntele.

"Yes, I have decided to walk amongst the people incognito. I wish to know more of their lives and how they view the Muad-Dib. Will you join me? We must go in disguise, else someone spots me."

"Of course, my lady, but how do you suggest I disguise my hunchback?"

"Yes, best you stay behind, I don't want you to cramp my style."

Seething with anger, Kuntele watched as her mistress left the Keep, plotting her revenge.

Irulan walked out into the oppressive heat of the Arrakeen afternoon, her loins throbbing with desire. Who would it be today? Any man would do, that's how horny she was after Paul kept spurring her amorous advances.

Rounding a corner, she was confronted by a shortish, ugly little dumpy man with bad breath. "Ugh" she thought to herself, "oh well, any port in a storm, I suppose".

The man forced her against the plascrete wall and undid her stillsuit. He unzipped his flies to reveal a purple penetrator dildo. "What is this madness?" demanded Irulan. "Hush, love, I'm sure you'll enjoy this" he grunted in response.

They began to rut against the wall. Irulan pulled the man's mask away and was horrified by what she saw.

"Kuntele!" shrieked Irulan, as the sick realisation dawned. She was in fact having sex with Kuntele who was wearing a strap on. "Yes, Irulan dear" replied Kuntele, "this will teach you for leaving me behind while you have all the fun."

"Oh well" thought Irulan to herself, "why stop now just when I'm enjoying myself?"
"You and your buddies and that b*tch Mandy are nothing but a gang of lying, socially maladjusted losers." - St Hypatia of Arrakeen.
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Postby Redstar » 31 Mar 2009 14:22

CHAPTER TEN

The girl looked at Feyd with strange eyes. They were blue-within-blue, as many a Fremen girl or even members of the court were prone to have. But this girl looked to be neither, or perhaps both? She was dressed like a privileged child of the court, but carried herself with the ferocity of a Fremen. But her eyes... They shone with an intelligence, an age, even a cruelty that Feyd could empathize with. "Who are you," he whispered. The girl's lips curled in a smile, and she strode closer to him. "Ah, the Princess' plaything! A ghola of that Harkonnen, are you?" She knows! he thought. Who is this child? Why does she plague my thoughts? "I was there at your death, you know." She moved still closer, drawing into the shade of the room. "I saw my brother kill you." Her brother! Feyd backed away, pitifully ashamed at his own fear. Why have I changed? "I suspect the Tleilaxu have some purpose for you." She walked over, pushing Feyd into a chair then slowly crawled up into his lap. "Very well. We'll find out what that purpose is..."

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Postby Ghost » 31 Mar 2009 15:04

Chapter eleven.

Suddenly the Suncrusher appears on the Arrakis system.
Kyp Durron, Shaddam distaff cousin, shoot the inmesive pennis shape weapon and dusted Arrakis planet into oblivion, no matter that Arrakis was the planet and the weapon was ironically called the ''sun-crusher''.

The planet was obliterated...
The uiverse rejoice.


3 months later Harry Feldon a Tleilaxu Face Master. a new Tlelialxu breed master found adrift a corpse in the space, orbiting the debris of a planet called long time ago Arrakis.
the corpse was half human - half robot, bearing the symbol of the Ixian confederation....one of his hands was grapping hair...
The tleilaxu Face Master tested the hair, it was human....from Caladan.

The END?

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Postby Ampoliros » 01 Apr 2009 10:13

Chapter 11: The sequel!

Paul was astounded. Even his prescience didn't see this coming. How could it be possible, that his Empire, with all of it's religious donations and fanatic support, not to mention it's wholesale corruption, be suddenly Bankrupt!!!. He was afraid he'd have to free all his unpaid sex-slaves in his Harum. He might even have to fire his awesome new biographer, the best selling, stoker-award nominee Hark-AL-KJAIDA. Worst of all, he couldn't get those cool new Tlilaxu eyes to replace the ones he lost from the stone burner. Totally Bummed, Paul fled to the desert, to see out the lost tresure of Jacurutu. Leto II's telepathic voice told him to do this. "Father! Are you My Daddy? Chani was such a skank, Ghani and I were traumatized by the repeated attempts to penetrate her hole-y womb. The trauma awakened our memories early and made us magic-angel babies. If it wasn't for the constant assault on our immune system from the millions of Sexually Transmitted Ultra-diseases we wouldn't be KH's." Paul cried that he had loved such a white trash slutty skank. If it wasn't for the fact that she was Dog-turd ugly, Paul would have jumped in Irulan's bed and his kids might not have been Incest-retarted mongoloids. Paul at long last let himself remember that Chani was his Hot First Cousin. Stilgar had had to give them special permission to marry, and had taken his time 'testing' Chani. Good thing that the Fremen hatred of Incest didn't matter when you were KH! At least Irulan had kept her snatch clean. Her new manish bodyguard seemed to be hitting that regularly now though. Paul waited till no one was watching, and fled into the desert to seek the treasure of Jacurutu, to save his kingdom and arrakis.

Alia watched Paul leave from a spy-hole. Baron Harkonnen had just left, implanting a sub-space ultradio so he could speak to her through OM. Alia knew Harkonnen was gay, so it worked out, she wouldn't have to do what Irulan did to find pleasure. She wouldn't know what went where any way, she was only 7 now and not very world-wise. She knew that men had weiners, having spied on the fremen men druing the spice orgy. Cause kids went to the orgy, but an orgy means everyone fucks right? Or is it possibly an overindulgence in anything, and common usage just assumes sex. Alia would have to get a dictionary to determine the difference, but Al-KJAIDA kept telling her it was all sex, and he was the offical (EAT IT YOU LOSER TALIFAN CRY-BABIES!) biographer. If he changed something, Fremen Feydakings used the Royal Time Machine to go back and change it offically!!!!! So my books are right! Nya Nya Nya! ALia often noticed Al-KJAIDA doing this, talking to thin air. Any other Fremen would be tried in the trial of possesion, but AL-KJAIDA had explained he was just hooked up to blue-tooth and was twittering. That disturbed Alia, because when she and Marie had spied on Al-KJAIDA with his .... partner, he kept twittering, even during the act! Ew Gross! Alia had to clear her mind. She practiced naked in the gym for a wile, then called up Ghola-Marie and they watched Twilight again. Oh Edward!
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