The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby SandChigger » 21 Jul 2009 10:36

Sorry, it was Bronso's dad that was the cyborg.

Well, he wasn't really his dad.

Because they didn't save his testes. Or were they tsetses? Oh, no, sorry, that was those piranha mites from the Legends books.

Right, his balls bounced so they used sperm from his half brother, or mother's father, or ... someone related to that Lady Shan-de-Leer from Balut.

Something like that. :?

Anyway, I see your point. I can tell the difference because I know (can see) the Jongleur circus adventure there on the page, but not Bronso in drag. You can't. At least not yet. ;)
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Ampoliros » 21 Jul 2009 16:00

well, a few more days and we'll all know the truth. I'd love to see this one get a half-way serious review. Me thinks TOR is probably asking people not to review it at this point...

Sales for Wind will certainly be interesting to watch. Our store has pre-ordered more copies than we did Paul, I'm wondering if TOR is attempting to flood the market and make it much more visible. More copies on shelves and the cover art/name change suggest this. It's certainly harder to see BH and KJA's name on the new cover...

funny, all that work to revitalize sales and the text sounds actually worse than any of the other 'books' they've put out so far.


So, chig, do you think I'll hate Bronso more than I did the Magic Munchkin Assassin Princess?
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby SandChigger » 21 Jul 2009 16:06

You'll probably hate the Young Bronso. He's always getting into trouble, pushing the limits.

But no one will ever outdo Marie. ;)
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Ampoliros » 21 Jul 2009 17:50

He deserves to have his hands stapled to his face in shame for the "abomination" that is Marie...
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby SandChigger » 21 Jul 2009 18:25

Eeeew. So violent. :(

I'd rather have him put on a treadmill and actually made to walk all the miles he has claimed to have walked while dictahiking. :twisted:


(Grammar edit: sometimes the "don't split yer infinitives" rule actually makes sense. ;) )

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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby SandChigger » 25 Jul 2009 01:56

I've started posting to the WoD synopsis page on HToD. Only four chapters (out of 17 in Part I) so far, but I'll get them all up as I have the stomach for it.

Link: "chapter"-by-"chapter" Synposis of The Winds of Dune
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby SandChigger » 25 Jul 2009 06:18

SandChigger wrote:Um, loathe as I am to point this out, I'm afraid that reviewer misstated things a bit. :( It is never specifically stated in the book (at least that I remember) that Alia does not know about Paul's boyhood friendship with Bronso. In fact, IIRC Alia specifically refers to his "Jongleur circus" adventure. (I may have mentioned that in this thread, in fact.)

Found it. Right after Jessica and Gurney arrive back on Arrakis, during the 'thopter flight from the spaceport to the Keep:

Alia spoke loudly over the thrum of the engines and the whir of the moving wings. She seemed energetic, frenetic. "Now that you're here, Mother, we can proceed with Paul's funeral. It is a thing that must be done with a grandeur appropriate to Muad'Dib's greatness—enough to awe the whole Imperium."

Jessica kept her expression neutral. "It is a funeral, not a Jongleur performance."

"Oh, but even a Jongleur performance would be fitting, given Paul's past, don't you think?" Alia chuckled; it was clear she already had her mind set.

She obviously remembers Paul having run away with Bronso and ending up with the Jongleurs, so she also knows Paul and Bronso were once friends, because all that was known to Jessica before Alia was conceived/born. But Alia doesn't know about their reconciliation since it occurred after Paul became Emperor.

Either way, this is all a bullshit story arc dreamt up by one or two (probably one) hacks. If Frank Herbert had anything at all to do with it, let the authors/HLP prove it by releasing the notes where it is written. Until I see proof, I'm assuming everything is made up by KJA or the other guy.
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Nebiros » 25 Jul 2009 10:02

Ten more days before Winds is released! (Yes I see the joke) But they have not yet done a Youtube interview describing their latest atrocity as they did with Hunters of Dune, Sandworms of Dune (Or maybe we should rename it Norma of Dune) and Paul of Dune. I'll be watching it when it comes out on Youtube.

By the way, are there any audio or visual tapes of Kevin angry? So far I've only seen videos of him addressing his legions of fanboys. I would love to see him on film lose his temper when a "talifan" comes to one of his book signings and criticizes him for the horrible ending of Sandworms of Dune.

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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Ampoliros » 25 Jul 2009 10:42

sounds like a job for Eru
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby SandChigger » 25 Jul 2009 14:30

I'm sure there will be plenty of videos once the actual book tour starts up. Shawn their signed book flogger will no doubt be filming them again for Suvudu or whatever. Unless his cancer has come back. Or his own writing career has taken off. (Which is more probable, given the statistics, I wonder? :think: )

(All the Part I "chapter" synopses are up, btw. I'm not feeling the mirth as much this time. Hopefully it'll get funnier. :? )
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Sev » 25 Jul 2009 16:18

SandChigger wrote:All the Part I "chapter" synopses are up, btw. I'm not feeling the mirth as much this time. Hopefully it'll get funnier. :?


Cheers for this, Chigger - my god this one stinks something chronic doesn't it, and we're not even at the 'Young Paul' stages yet. I think I've missed something here, what is all this Wayku nonsense? Are they a Keith/Bobo invention?
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby SandChigger » 25 Jul 2009 18:43

-5 for having to ask. :twisted:

;)

They were introduced by KJA (& BoBo?) in the House books. ("Wayku" occurs 18 times in those three books: HA, 9; HH, 7; HC, 1)

Don't feel bad, though, I'd repressed any memory of them as well. :lol:
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Ampoliros » 26 Jul 2009 00:50

and yes, the name is pronounced "way-cool"
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby chanilover » 26 Jul 2009 15:29

Does Winds of Dune have any 'scene' as wretched as the farting competition between the Baron and that Tleilaxu mutant in Cunters?
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby SandChigger » 26 Jul 2009 15:38

No, Ti...er, I mean CL, not that I saw.

But it's possible KJA slipped a wet one in between the ARC and the final version. ;)

(I think I'm gonna miss Aretha. ;) )
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Freakzilla » 26 Jul 2009 17:11

SandChigger wrote:(I think I'm gonna miss Aretha. ;) )


Hush! :shock:
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Tleszer » 27 Jul 2009 09:36

SandChigger wrote:(I think I'm gonna miss Aretha. ;) )

Me too :cry:
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Hunchback Jack » 27 Jul 2009 16:45

Will Winds be the end?

From KJA's Fandomania interview, comes this interesting tidbit:

The Winds Of Dune comes out in early August, the direct sequel to Dune Messiah and a followup to last year’s Paul Of Dune. Our next Dune novel (in 2011) will be The Throne Of Dune, which completes the story after Winds.


Probably just a mindfart from KJA, or over-zealous editing by the interviewer, but one can hope ...

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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby A Thing of Eternity » 27 Jul 2009 17:07

Hunchback Jack wrote:Will Winds be the end?

From KJA's Fandomania interview, comes this interesting tidbit:

The Winds Of Dune comes out in early August, the direct sequel to Dune Messiah and a followup to last year’s Paul Of Dune. Our next Dune novel (in 2011) will be The Throne Of Dune, which completes the story after Winds.


Probably just a mindfart from KJA, or over-zealous editing by the interviewer, but one can hope ...

HBJ



I think that says throne will be the end, not winds. And it says "completes the story after winds" which means that it wraps up THIS series I would imagine. Which is BAD, because that means the Leto book is not part of this series. Which means the leto book is now going to be its own series. FUCK.
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Hunchback Jack » 27 Jul 2009 17:38

Yeah, sorry, I meant Throne will be the end, not Winds. Guess I had a brain fart of my own.

A *series* of Leto novels? Good God. KJA is probably looking at that 3500-year "gap" with dollar signs in his eyes.

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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Ampoliros » 27 Jul 2009 17:47

maybe TOR will ask him to insert some teenage spice vampires so they can move it to the YA section.
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Freakzilla » 27 Jul 2009 18:13

Ampoliros wrote:maybe TOR will ask him to insert some teenage spice vampires so they can move it to the YA section.


It should be in YA anyway.
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby SandChigger » 27 Jul 2009 18:52

I think I mentioned this once, but there was no mention of Leto of Dune in the list of upcoming books in what I saw. But then again, maybe they only list the next upcoming book.

LoD was not part of this series when they first started talking about it. It was added later when they signed the contracts for Jessica(Winds) and Irulan(Throne), maybe to round things out to three books. (PoD, remember, was part of the "Dune 7" contract.)

WoD sets the scene for events in the next book with Shaddam ordering and taking receipt of ghola troops for a new army and sending Irulan a secret message calling on her to be loyal to her family. The Throne of Dune will at the very least be about an attempt by Shaddam to retake the Imperial throne, with whatever other bullshit Kevin can come up with over the next year-and-a-half thrown in for good measure. (Bene Gesserit with exploding tit missiles, anyone? A Mammaria Projectiliva? :shock: ) Since Shaddam is dead as a doornail (or is he just in hiding somewhere, like Hitler, Kevin?) by CoD, ToD has to be set in the same pre-CoD period ... of which I've already pointed out that KJA STILL HAS NINE YEARS LEFT.

It could be that he's just referring to the story arcs begun in WoD being completed in ToD. LoD could still be a very real threat, since it will be set after CoD (barring more flashbacks :roll: ) during the first century or so(?) of Leto's reign.

Still too early to be relieved, I'm afraid. And come on, do you really think Kevin would willingly turn away from the opportunity to fuck with Leto firsthand? :twisted:

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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Omphalos » 27 Jul 2009 19:42

SandChigger wrote: of which I've already pointed out that KJA STILL HAS NINE YEARS LEFT.


I thought that the Aztecs predicted that the "pudgy bearded cheese-writer" ("Quetzoquesodillias") will explode in 2012, taking the entire world with him. That only gives him three years.

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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby SandRider » 27 Jul 2009 19:52

^^^ nominate for Post of the Year ....
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