The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

[SandChigger]

That's nine years of FICTION BOOK TIME.




(Quetzoquesodillias was rather inspired, though. )

[trang]

maybe he will choke on a pretzel while "dick-ta-hiking" and his voice box will be punctured beyond repair and he will be mute(no offence to mutes out there, I wouldnt want him in my ranks either) and we can breath a sigh of relief that this nightmare will be over.

[SandChigger]

Nah, he'd just learn to "write" with his hands.



No, no, I've got it!

He would learn to sign and then have a have a sign language interpreter tag along on his hikes and read what KJA signed into a recorder!

AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

[Tleszer]

[Nekhrun]

I just had a vision of him grabbing things from his fans and saying kevin j. anderson at each of them and then handing them back to his assistant to actually do the signing.

[Frybread]

Soooo since KJA views Leto II as an idiot whose Golden Path was a big waste of time, how will he depict the God Emperor in these proposed novels? Will he go from FH's depiction of a brilliant, tortured, lonely ruler who despaired over losing his humanity to a cheap one-dimensional tyrant?

[Freakzilla]

Soooo since KJA views Leto II as an idiot whose Golden Path was a big waste of time, how will he depict the God Emperor in these proposed novels? Will he go from FH's depiction of a brilliant, tortured, lonely ruler who despaired over losing his humanity to a cheap one-dimensional tyrant?

I'm hoping they will explain his gholas instant transformation trick in the sequels. This should be really good.

[Frybread]

Soooo since KJA views Leto II as an idiot whose Golden Path was a big waste of time, how will he depict the God Emperor in these proposed novels? Will he go from FH's depiction of a brilliant, tortured, lonely ruler who despaired over losing his humanity to a cheap one-dimensional tyrant?

I'm hoping they will explain his gholas instant transformation trick in the sequels. This should be really good.

Oh, I forgot about that! That ability makes me wonder why Leto didn't just turn his pre-worm body back into a human form. Would have solved a lot of his problems in GEoD and he would have been able to lay Hwi Noree

[Freakzilla]

Soooo since KJA views Leto II as an idiot whose Golden Path was a big waste of time, how will he depict the God Emperor in these proposed novels? Will he go from FH's depiction of a brilliant, tortured, lonely ruler who despaired over losing his humanity to a cheap one-dimensional tyrant?

I'm hoping they will explain his gholas instant transformation trick in the sequels. This should be really good.

Oh, I forgot about that! That ability makes me wonder why Leto didn't just turn his pre-worm body back into a human form. Would have solved a lot of his problems in GEoD and he would have been able to lay Hwi Noree

Makes his tragic sacrafice that much more insignificant, doesn't it?

[Sev]

We're talking 'Keith and Bobo' here - there's not going to be any deep psychological studies of Leto - he'll be a Duniverse Superman, still with all four limbs but encased in the sandtrout-skin, faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, single-handedly laying waste to hordes of rebellious houses - it'll be fucking hideous... mark my words.

[Freakzilla]

We're talking 'Keith and Bobo' here - there's not going to be any deep psychological studies of Leto - he'll be a Duniverse Superman, still with all four limbs but encased in the sandtrout-skin, faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, single-handedly laying waste to hordes of rebellious houses - it'll be fucking hideous... mark my words.

Oh... I expect it will be much worse than we can even imagine. The super-mega-ultra-insult to FH.

[Frybread]

Soooo since KJA views Leto II as an idiot whose Golden Path was a big waste of time, how will he depict the God Emperor in these proposed novels? Will he go from FH's depiction of a brilliant, tortured, lonely ruler who despaired over losing his humanity to a cheap one-dimensional tyrant?

I'm hoping they will explain his gholas instant transformation trick in the sequels. This should be really good.

Oh, I forgot about that! That ability makes me wonder why Leto didn't just turn his pre-worm body back into a human form. Would have solved a lot of his problems in GEoD and he would have been able to lay Hwi Noree

Makes his tragic sacrafice that much more insignificant, doesn't it?

Just one more device that Keith has used to deconstruct FH's creation. When I think about that, it makes me hate KJA even more than just being a hack.

[Hunchback Jack]

Just FYI, the same site I linked to before has an interview with KJA at some con or other, from last year. You can listen to it in your browser here, or download the MP3 here.

The KJA interview starts about 50 minutes in. Not much new; he rambles a lot about reading H.G. Wells when he was 5 or some shit, and says a lot of annoying things about Dune. The guy's a dweeb.

HBJ

[Freakzilla]

...he rambles a lot about reading H.G. Wells when he was 5 or some shit, and says a lot of annoying things about Dune...

HBJ

Bah! I'd read Dune twice by the time I was five!

[inhuien]

^^^Aye, but it was just the word not the book

[SandChigger]

We're talking 'Keith and Bobo' here - there's not going to be any deep psychological studies of Leto - he'll be a Duniverse Superman, still with all four limbs but encased in the sandtrout-skin, faster than a speeding bullet, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, single-handedly laying waste to hordes of rebellious houses - it'll be fucking hideous... mark my words.

Actually ... that is probably closer to the truth than you may have intended.

After all, LoD is supposed to be about the first century or two of Leto's reign.

[Hunchback Jack]

Think of the circus antics *that* little tyke could get up to!

HBJ

[Ampoliros]

Yeah, he wouldn't be able to control his super-worm body if his dad hadn't spent all that time as a jongleur...

Shit. (Sorry SC I know you told me not to post stuff like that.)

[Robspierre]

maybe TOR will ask him to insert some teenage spice vampires so they can move it to the YA section.

It should be in YA anyway.

That's an insult to YA!

It shouldn't exist at all!

Rob

[Tleszer]

Yeah, he wouldn't be able to control his super-worm body if his dad hadn't spent all that time as a jongleur...

Shit. (Sorry SC I know you told me not to post stuff like that.)

Amp, I'm disappointed.

[Sev]

A second sample chapter is now up at the Macmillan site - and its just as excrutiatingly bad as the first one was - Gurney out hunting with his dogs ("The cool air of that afternoon burned his lungs" ) later Jessica hears him crying in his apartment (" the valves of her emotions had been rusted shut with disuse" ). Twice she describes him as a troubadour warrior. All credit to Chigger for slogging through it all, I feel like I need a bath after just two chapters.

[TheDukester]

"Valves of her emotions ..."?

You're making that one up, right? Right?

[Redstar]

"Valves of her emotions ..."?

You're making that one up, right? Right?

You see, hearts have valves, right, and they pump blood... But KJA is being clever here and suggesting they also regulate emotions, and Jessica's valves have stopped. If the blood-flow was stopped thus, you would die. So metaphorically, Jessica is emotionally dead.

[Tleilax Master B]

"Valves of her emotions ..."?

You're making that one up, right? Right?

You see, hearts have valves, right, and they pump blood... But KJA is being clever here and suggesting they also regulate emotions, and Jessica's valves have stopped. If the blood-flow was stopped thus, you would die. So metaphorically, Jessica is emotionally dead.

Ooooohhhh! I get it. Damn, that is clever.

[Redstar]

"Valves of her emotions ..."?

You're making that one up, right? Right?

You see, hearts have valves, right, and they pump blood... But KJA is being clever here and suggesting they also regulate emotions, and Jessica's valves have stopped. If the blood-flow was stopped thus, you would die. So metaphorically, Jessica is emotionally dead.

Ooooohhhh! I get it. Damn, that is clever.