The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

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SandChigger
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby SandChigger » 30 Jul 2009 13:35

TheDukester wrote:You're making that one up, right? Right? :shock:

No, sadly, not. From my partial scan file:

She felt off balance, adrift. Due to her Bene Gesserit training, the valves of her emotions had been rusted shut with disuse, especially after Leto's death, after she had turned her back on Arrakis and returned here.

But Paul was her son!

I haven't bothered diffing the new chapter against the scan text yet; there may be a word or two different, but it looks about the same, eyeballed. ;)

Damn. Looks like the ARC isn't bogus or fake after all.

More's the pity for Dune. :(
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Omphalos » 30 Jul 2009 13:37

'tho Gurney kept the valves of her loins adequately lubricated, yes?

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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Tleilax Master B » 30 Jul 2009 14:05

Omphalos wrote:'tho Gurney kept the valves of her loins adequately lubricated, yes?

:lol:
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby SandChigger » 30 Jul 2009 14:20

Um, actually, no.

All the shit KJA adds or re-dredges back up from previous McDune in this one and yet he doesn't have the balls to take a definite stand on the Jessica-Gurney question and have them DO it. :roll:

SEX would endanger the YA acceptability of the thing, no?
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Omphalos » 30 Jul 2009 14:33

Hmmm. I thought that the implication was that they were doing it behind closed doors.

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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby SandChigger » 30 Jul 2009 14:41

Nah, the only thing that goes on behind a closed door is Gurney bawling like a bint. :roll:
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Frybread » 30 Jul 2009 17:23

Sev wrote:A second sample chapter is now up at the Macmillan site - and its just as excrutiatingly bad as the first one was - Gurney out hunting with his dogs ("The cool air of that afternoon burned his lungs" :crazy: ) later Jessica hears him crying in his apartment (" the valves of her emotions had been rusted shut with disuse" :puke: ). Twice she describes him as a troubadour warrior. All credit to Chigger for slogging through it all, I feel like I need a bath after just two chapters.


"... valves of her emotions" is almost as good as, if not better, than "... thunderous sigh." God KJA is a master! A GENIUS!

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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Tleszer » 30 Jul 2009 18:17

All hail tehJacket!
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby SandChigger » 30 Jul 2009 20:23

You mean, TehKJAcket? :P

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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Tleszer » 30 Jul 2009 20:55

You know it! :lol:
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Mr. Teg » 31 Jul 2009 01:21

Omphalos wrote:Hmmm. I thought that the implication was that they were doing it behind closed doors.


Actually, I thought the implication was that thekja preferred the back-door.
Not that there's anything wrong with that...
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Tleilax Master B » 31 Jul 2009 09:04

Mr. Teg wrote:
Omphalos wrote:Hmmm. I thought that the implication was that they were doing it behind closed doors.


Actually, I thought the implication was that thekja preferred the back-door.
Not that there's anything wrong with that...



That would explain why gurney's crying like a bint :wink:
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby SandRider » 31 Jul 2009 09:30

"tehKJAcket" - there's somebody's new bogus twitter name ....

" .... hung on the chair behind the fat guy all day, it's hot in California .... "

"... got dry-cleaned today. does this mean the fat guy's 'written' another book ?"

"... you know, it's been years since the fat guy could button me .... "

&etc ...
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Bijaz » 31 Jul 2009 10:08

SandRider wrote:"tehKJAcket" - there's somebody's new bogus twitter name ....

" .... hung on the chair behind the fat guy all day, it's hot in California .... "

"... got dry-cleaned today. does this mean the fat guy's 'written' another book ?"

"... you know, it's been years since the fat guy could button me .... "

&etc ...


"...the fat naked lady is sniffing me again..."

"...the fat naked lady fell asleep on me..."

"...the naked fat guy is gonna put me on..."

"...oh dear god no, he's climbing on top of the fat naked lady..."

"...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...."
They may take yairrrr Frreedom, but they ken nivverrrr take yairrrr Duuuunnne!

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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Tleilax Master B » 31 Jul 2009 10:29

Bijaz wrote:
SandRider wrote:"tehKJAcket" - there's somebody's new bogus twitter name ....

" .... hung on the chair behind the fat guy all day, it's hot in California .... "

"... got dry-cleaned today. does this mean the fat guy's 'written' another book ?"

"... you know, it's been years since the fat guy could button me .... "

&etc ...


"...the fat naked lady is sniffing me again..."

"...the fat naked lady fell asleep on me..."

"...the naked fat guy is gonna put me on..."

"...oh dear god no, he's climbing on top of the fat naked lady..."

"...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...."


"...oh god, I hope that stain comes out...."

"...good lord, is that me that smells?.."

"...there has to be some way to set myself on fire...."
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby TheDukester » 31 Jul 2009 10:58

"I don't go with those pants. Jesus, is this guy blind or something?"
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.

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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Sev » 01 Aug 2009 11:54

Oh dear, Byr over at Dumbfucknovels has posted a glowing review of Winds, taken from BSCreview. I used to be a member over there under its previous guise, but it's been seriously dumbed down if this pile can get a glowing review - I've left a suitable reply.
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby SandChigger » 01 Aug 2009 19:29

:shock:

Wow ... this Ken_F can WRITE, huh?

That's barely even fucking English. Shit!

But it Now at Amazon!

Uh ... OK. Where did you "but" or let someone "but" you to get this shitty review posted?

And Byron actually posted a link to this shit? FUCKING MORON. He can't even realize when the "good reviews" he's directing people to make them look even worse. :doh:
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Rakis » 01 Aug 2009 23:02

Sev wrote:Oh dear, Byr over at Dumbfucknovels has posted a glowing review of Winds, taken from BSCreview. I used to be a member over there under its previous guise, but it's been seriously dumbed down if this pile can get a glowing review - I've left a suitable reply.


Nice reply, Sev... :)
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Nekhrun » 02 Aug 2009 21:36

Sev wrote:Oh dear, Byr over at Dumbfucknovels has posted a glowing review of Winds, taken from BSCreview. I used to be a member over there under its previous guise, but it's been seriously dumbed down if this pile can get a glowing review - I've left a suitable reply.

I replied as well. Since so many of you are banned leaving a comment would would be great. Every tool over there who clicks the link sees we haven't gone away.
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Nebiros » 03 Aug 2009 02:35

One more day until Winds is released! Still no videos of Kevin promoting the book on Youtube. You think that Winds will do worse in sales than Paul of Dune? Of course all that matters to Kevin is that it reaches the bestseller list even if it is at the bottom of that list. With any luck this might be the last new Dune novel to reach the bestseller list. Throne hopefully will not make the list, and if that happens I look forward to listening to Kevin try to emphasize the success of that book.

Of course I could be wrong.

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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby trang » 03 Aug 2009 03:23

That review is complete Shite...What else to expect. Does anyone (besides Omp I mean) in this literary world do a review that is valid?

For godsdam frakking sake when the review says " and part two" just stop right there, no more, zip it!! Zip it!!! No more please!!!

Paul never left Caladan before going to Arrakis, and even if he did, it doesnt fucking matter to the plot of this atrocity? he wandered into the desert and is presumed dead? what he did at 12 has no bearing on the situation at hand does it? no it doesnt. So they might as well just edit that 2nd part/young paul shit right the hell out!!!

So what do we have left? Jessica coming to Arrakis, before she actually comes to arrakis in COD? seems kinda redundent doesnt it? the plotting to kill the twins, before the actually plotting to kill the twins actualy begins in COD??

take that stupid shit out, whats left? Um.. nothing.. a book that shouldnt have been written is what you have. Same with POD.

Just complete shit.
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Freakzilla » 03 Aug 2009 13:53

Don't hold back Trang, tell us how you really feel. :wink:
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Re: The Winds of Dune: When they blow, they also suck!

Postby Frybread » 03 Aug 2009 15:03

I predict "Breaking Wind of Dune" will sell worse than PoD. Despite the efforts of the HLP and their army of shill reviewers, I think the books are being uncovered for the hack drivel they are, due to the efforts of those on this board especially SC.