Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

    Abandon all sanity ye who enter here

Moderators: Omphalos, Freakzilla, ᴶᵛᵀᴬ

User avatar
Redstar
Posts: 1202
Joined: 25 Feb 2009 04:13

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby Redstar » 08 Sep 2009 01:38

Frybread wrote:
TheDukester wrote:It's official: Jessica's Wind on Dune is no longer on the N.Y. Times list, even in the "sort-of selling" part:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/13/books ... &ref=books

And the Pauline of Dune paperback (released on the same day) is off that list, too:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/13/books ... bestseller

A terrible performance for both books, by any measure. Fail, fail, fail. :dance:


This is VERY good news <rubs hands together>. This downward trend hopefully will continue with the next book and will convince the HLP to scrap the proposed series of "Great School" books.

But I was oh so looking forward to those books!

User avatar
SandRider
Watermaster
Posts: 6163
Joined: 05 Oct 2008 16:14
Location: In the back of your mind. Always.
Contact:

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby SandRider » 08 Sep 2009 11:29

I was going to say that hopefully Tor would scrap them,
and Keith would have to shop it to an even less
reputable house - but I don't think there is a less
reputable house than Tor. Vanity press, mebbe ?






edit for bad engrish
Last edited by SandRider on 08 Sep 2009 12:23, edited 1 time in total.
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
ImageImage

I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people.
~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008

User avatar
TheDukester
Posts: 3808
Joined: 20 Jun 2008 13:44
Location: Operation Enduring Bacon
Contact:

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby TheDukester » 08 Sep 2009 12:11

SandRider wrote:Vanity press, mebbe ?

Anderjacket could always ask Bobo how those vanity presses work. Zing! :dance:
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.

User avatar
SandChigger
KJASF Ground Zero
Posts: 14492
Joined: 08 Feb 2008 22:29
Location: A continuing state of irritation
Contact:

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby SandChigger » 09 Sep 2009 14:46

Nebiros wrote:So I wonder in what time Throne of Dune will be written in.

Pay attention once in a while, will you please?

It takes place (primarily ... who knows what total shit flashbacks it will contain) in the same nine-year period between Messiah and Children.

The title actually tells you what it's going to be about: some struggle over the throne and the control of the Imperium. We are told that Shaddam is building a "ghola army" in WoD. For him to have any fun with it at all, he will have to do so in ToD, since he is dead by the first pages of Children.

Is this clear now? :roll:
"Let the dead give water to the dead. As for me, it's NO MORE FUCKING TEARS!"

User avatar
Drunken Idaho
Posts: 1197
Joined: 15 Sep 2008 23:56
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby Drunken Idaho » 09 Sep 2009 15:20

Top-ranking officials in the Ghola Army include:

Genghis Khan
Robert E. Lee
Kevin J. Anderson
Grand Moff Tarkin
"The Idahos were never ordinary people."
-Reverend Mother Superior Alma Mavis Taraza

User avatar
TheDukester
Posts: 3808
Joined: 20 Jun 2008 13:44
Location: Operation Enduring Bacon
Contact:

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby TheDukester » 09 Sep 2009 16:57

Drunken Idaho wrote:Top-ranking officials in the Ghola Army include:

Not to mention these guys:

Image

Yet another wonderful idea from KJA's House of Originality! :roll:
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.

User avatar
SandRider
Watermaster
Posts: 6163
Joined: 05 Oct 2008 16:14
Location: In the back of your mind. Always.
Contact:

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby SandRider » 09 Sep 2009 18:20

I'll give you 'til about this time tomorrow to edit your post,
and remove General Lee from that villains list.

:evil:
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
ImageImage

I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people.
~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008

User avatar
Redstar
Posts: 1202
Joined: 25 Feb 2009 04:13

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby Redstar » 09 Sep 2009 18:33

Drunken Idaho wrote:Top-ranking officials in the Ghola Army include:

Genghis Khan
Robert E. Lee
Kevin J. Anderson
Grand Moff Tarkin

Kahless the Unforgettable

User avatar
Drunken Idaho
Posts: 1197
Joined: 15 Sep 2008 23:56
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby Drunken Idaho » 10 Sep 2009 00:54

SandRider wrote:I'll give you 'til about this time tomorrow to edit your post,
and remove General Lee from that villains list.

:evil:


Don't blame me, it's the hack's list! And I was thinking military officials, rather than villains. The obvious exception being Keith, who I would not be surprised to see writing himself in...

Meanwhile in the fallen emperor's HUGE palace on Selusa Secundus, Shaddam looked to the Admiral with a pleased expression. "Admiral Anderson, you've done the Corrino family a HUGE service in your efforts against Muad'Dib's freaky whore of a sister and her Gods-forsaken THRONE. The only way I can repay you is to grant you permission to marry my third daughter, Wensicia."
Kevin put the tape recorder down and exclaimed, "Kull Wahad!" Later that night, the Admiral produced Farad'n.


Redstar wrote:Kahless the Unforgettable


"Today is a good day to die... And tomorrow is a good day to be resurrected in an Axlotl tank."
"The Idahos were never ordinary people."
-Reverend Mother Superior Alma Mavis Taraza

rain_maker
Posts: 44
Joined: 30 Mar 2009 00:55
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Contact:

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby rain_maker » 10 Sep 2009 02:04

Drunken Idaho wrote:Don't blame me, it's the hack's list! And I was thinking military officials, rather than villains. The obvious exception being Keith, who I would not be surprised to see writing himself in...


Please tell me that the above is a joke ... that the hack didn't really suggest a "ghola army" made up of ancient earth military figures.

If this is indeed true and does indeed come to pass it will be ... just .... (I literally do not have the words to describe this).
I had no idea that there were this many Frank Herbert fans left alive, what with the head exploding horror that is the KJA/BH atrocity.

User avatar
Redstar
Posts: 1202
Joined: 25 Feb 2009 04:13

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby Redstar » 10 Sep 2009 02:11

rain_maker wrote:
Drunken Idaho wrote:Don't blame me, it's the hack's list! And I was thinking military officials, rather than villains. The obvious exception being Keith, who I would not be surprised to see writing himself in...


Please tell me that the above is a joke ... that the hack didn't really suggest a "ghola army" made up of ancient earth military figures.

If this is indeed true and does indeed come to pass it will be ... just .... (I literally do not have the words to describe this).

Not exactly. They're using fallen Sardaukar bodies and others and reviving them as gholas... But using Bene Gesserit OM to implant fake memories to revive them as said military figures. :twisted:

User avatar
SadisticCynic
Posts: 2053
Joined: 07 Apr 2009 09:28
Location: In Time or in Space?

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby SadisticCynic » 10 Sep 2009 06:15

Redstar wrote:
rain_maker wrote:
Drunken Idaho wrote:Don't blame me, it's the hack's list! And I was thinking military officials, rather than villains. The obvious exception being Keith, who I would not be surprised to see writing himself in...


Please tell me that the above is a joke ... that the hack didn't really suggest a "ghola army" made up of ancient earth military figures.

If this is indeed true and does indeed come to pass it will be ... just .... (I literally do not have the words to describe this).

Not exactly. They're using fallen Sardaukar bodies and others and reviving them as gholas... But using Bene Gesserit OM to implant fake memories to revive them as said military figures. :twisted:


*shudders*
Ah English, the language where pretty much any word can have any meaning! - A Thing of Eternity

User avatar
SandChigger
KJASF Ground Zero
Posts: 14492
Joined: 08 Feb 2008 22:29
Location: A continuing state of irritation
Contact:

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby SandChigger » 10 Sep 2009 06:56

Redstar wrote:Not exactly. They're using fallen Sardaukar bodies and others and reviving them as gholas... But using Bene Gesserit OM to implant fake memories to revive them as said military figures. :twisted:

Deliciously wicked. :laughing:
"Let the dead give water to the dead. As for me, it's NO MORE FUCKING TEARS!"

User avatar
smugetsu
Posts: 264
Joined: 25 May 2009 12:24
Location: Lurking somewhere out there

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby smugetsu » 10 Sep 2009 07:41

...seriously?

KJA can't create his own characters, so he's borrowing some actual people from history to use? How weak is that?
Image

Lundse
Posts: 524
Joined: 01 Jul 2008 11:36
Location: Århus, Denmark

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby Lundse » 10 Sep 2009 08:01

I still can' tell if crap like this is real KJA shit, or made up as a joke!

Ghola army!
A horrible and boring idea, as usual misunderstanding what role ghola's play in the Dune universe - something scary and "ghoulish" (same word, way back), ressurection of important characters, the similarity to OM and face dancers qauired memory and of course immortality. Nothing, nothing nothing about the military importance, which is incredibly uninteresting.
As I was saying - standard fare for KJA.

But is he really going to write in military personel from our history? Seriously?
I guess it does make sense, but only because it will afford him (and we know he loves this), an opportunity to include some of his own darlings. Which fabrication cardboard-cut-out character from the legend series do you think will reappear?
Or will Conway or some other gushing fanboy with enough points be ressurected as a ghola? That would be awesome - almost the ultimate sellout!

User avatar
Drunken Idaho
Posts: 1197
Joined: 15 Sep 2008 23:56
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby Drunken Idaho » 10 Sep 2009 08:46

Lundse wrote:I still can' tell if crap like this is real KJA shit, or made up as a joke!

Ghola army!
A horrible and boring idea, as usual misunderstanding what role ghola's play in the Dune universe - something scary and "ghoulish" (same word, way back), ressurection of important characters, the similarity to OM and face dancers qauired memory and of course immortality. Nothing, nothing nothing about the military importance, which is incredibly uninteresting.
As I was saying - standard fare for KJA.

But is he really going to write in military personel from our history? Seriously?
I guess it does make sense, but only because it will afford him (and we know he loves this), an opportunity to include some of his own darlings. Which fabrication cardboard-cut-out character from the legend series do you think will reappear?
Or will Conway or some other gushing fanboy with enough points be ressurected as a ghola? That would be awesome - almost the ultimate sellout!


It's only half true, Lundse. There apparently will be a Ghola Army, but the famous people were just me being silly. Grand Moff Tarkin isn't actually going to fight for Shaddam in ToD. Although I wouldn't put it past them to write in long-dead characters from their bullshit prequels as Ghola officers. Dammit, we're peobably just giving them ideas...
"The Idahos were never ordinary people."
-Reverend Mother Superior Alma Mavis Taraza

User avatar
Freakzilla
Lead Singer and Driver of the Winnebego
Posts: 18345
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 01:27
Location: Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Contact:

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby Freakzilla » 10 Sep 2009 08:58

I wouldn't put anything past them.
Image
Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman

User avatar
Dune Nerd
Posts: 168
Joined: 30 Apr 2008 12:30

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby Dune Nerd » 10 Sep 2009 09:09

One thing we must remember, it was in the notes!!!

Lundse
Posts: 524
Joined: 01 Jul 2008 11:36
Location: Århus, Denmark

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby Lundse » 10 Sep 2009 09:47

Drunken Idaho wrote:Dammit, we're peobably just giving them ideas...


That would be truly funny!
I have decided to be amused by the whole debacle, and so far it is working perfectly. I should send KJA a thank-you-note about the circus thing, that really clinched it for me :-)

They should totally do a Norma-clone-army-thing! That would be awesome - 7,000 ugly demigods wishing enemies out of existence left and right. I am sure KJA can think up some way Alia could dodge that using some über-ultra-heighliner-mega-Death-Star-ish superweapon!

User avatar
Ampoliros
Posts: 2518
Joined: 14 Mar 2008 11:22
Location: I think we took a wrong turn...

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby Ampoliros » 10 Sep 2009 10:29

its unfair to the owner of the intellectual property to call it a "ghola army". call it what it is, the Clone Army of the Republic.

1. How do legions of families deal with the fact that not only is their loved one dead, but apparently his body is missing. Sure the average foot soldier would be written off in the mass of bodies, but officers of mid and high rank? Even under the faufreluche system of feudalism, I think someone would notice. They do happen to notice the massive amount of corpses the Tleilaxu seem to be harvesting.

2. Lets say no one notices all the missing soldiers. How does no one notice that SHADDAM HAS A HUGE FOOKIN ARMY NOW? Where did they hide all those troops? Why would Shaddam be ordering hundreds of Tleilaxu "Corpse Carriers" to come to Salusa Secundus when they aren't picking anyone up? Shaddam was limited to one Sardaukar legion as per his surrender to Paul.

3. Selusa Secundus was a harsh prison planet. Muad'dib said he was going to terraform it. Shaddam was visibly shaken by this because thats where he trains his Sardaukar. KJA seems to dance back and forth on this, first Shaddam sends envoys to complain that its not being terraformed fast enough (who crazy toddler Alia kills). Then he whines that its destroying his ability to recruit Sardaukar. Then he whines again that its not going fast enough.

4. "Ghola" Kynes. KJA parades a resurrected ghola Kynes around in front of us, the OH, not his audience. Just his way of saying "lol look what I can do to Dune and you can't do squat about it". Well Kev, if your latest sales numbers are any evidence, your own fans are starting to smell how much your shit stinks.

One of the more interesting parts of Throne of Dune is how KJA will create a huge galactic civil war that 5 years after, no one talks about. Shaddam is going to have to fail pretty damn hard for Wensicea to not bitch about it. Or even mention it.
Last edited by Ampoliros on 10 Sep 2009 11:47, edited 1 time in total.
Semper Fidelis Tyrannosaurus

User avatar
Freakzilla
Lead Singer and Driver of the Winnebego
Posts: 18345
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 01:27
Location: Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Contact:

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby Freakzilla » 10 Sep 2009 10:43

Ampoliros wrote:...frafaulic (spl?)...


FAUFRELUCHES; the rigid rule of class distinction enforced by the Imperium. "A
place for every man and every man in his place."

~Dune, Terminology of the Imperium

There will be a vocabulary test on Friday. :P
Image
Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman

User avatar
SandRider
Watermaster
Posts: 6163
Joined: 05 Oct 2008 16:14
Location: In the back of your mind. Always.
Contact:

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby SandRider » 10 Sep 2009 10:45

can't be there, coach says we gotta leave early,
the game's about 200 miles away ....
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
ImageImage

I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people.
~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008

User avatar
Freakzilla
Lead Singer and Driver of the Winnebego
Posts: 18345
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 01:27
Location: Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Contact:

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby Freakzilla » 10 Sep 2009 10:55

Ampoliros wrote:One of the more interesting parts of Throne of Dune is how KJA will create a huge galactic civil war that 5 years after, no one talks about. Shaddam is going to have to fail pretty damn hard for Wensicea to not bitch about it. Or even mention it.


Leto II's empire was in a state of civil war in it's early years, that's why he needed the Sardaukar.
Image
Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman

User avatar
Ampoliros
Posts: 2518
Joined: 14 Mar 2008 11:22
Location: I think we took a wrong turn...

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby Ampoliros » 10 Sep 2009 11:45

I'm talking about Shaddam's attempt to retake the throne, not Leto's rise.

oh and thanks. edited and corrected above
Semper Fidelis Tyrannosaurus

User avatar
Freakzilla
Lead Singer and Driver of the Winnebego
Posts: 18345
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 01:27
Location: Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Contact:

Re: Winds of Dune: a complete non-event

Postby Freakzilla » 10 Sep 2009 11:57

Ampoliros wrote:I'm talking about Shaddam's attempt to retake the throne, not Leto's rise.


There's just so much wrong with that I'm going to ignore it.
Image
Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman