Save the Amazon reviews here.

Image
    Abandon all sanity ye who enter here

Moderators: ᴶᵛᵀᴬ, Omphalos, Freakzilla

User avatar
Ampoliros
Posts: 2518
Joined: 14 Mar 2008 11:22
Location: I think we took a wrong turn...

Save the Amazon reviews here.

Postby Ampoliros » 16 Sep 2008 13:45

Mine:

Caveat: I'm only half-way through the book (came out this morning) and its already clear the Author"s" either:

1) Have never read Dune with more than a passing glance

OR

2) Don't care about characterization, timeline, plot, or theme from the originals. At all.

( 3) Both. )

Again we have cardboard characters whose roles seem only loyal to the new Dune of the authors rather than their original characterization. Simpleton plots abound that a toddler could spot. Hardened warriors giggle like school girls. Fremen act like Viking invaders. All in all, this is not Dune.

The one-star for audacity comes not from the fact the authors saw fit to tell a tale between two of Frank's books, but from the fact that they do it while blatantly ignoring or changing things from the original books which will somehow have to be changed back to avoid continuity errors.
Semper Fidelis Tyrannosaurus

User avatar
TheDukester
Posts: 3808
Joined: 20 Jun 2008 13:44
Location: Operation Enduring Bacon
Contact:

Postby TheDukester » 16 Sep 2008 14:00

Good idea. Seriously, it's come to the point where actual documentation will be needed to refute the claims of the preeks/HLP.

I'm still in a little bit of shock at how Amazon totally caved in during the Sandworms era. There were literally dozens of poor reviews that were deleted. Shameful.
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.

User avatar
GamePlayer
70mm God
Posts: 2993
Joined: 09 Feb 2008 11:26
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Postby GamePlayer » 16 Sep 2008 15:04

I hate Amazon.com reviews. They are pretty much useless for rankings; 99% of all merchandise on Amazon.com is ranked between 4-5 stars. It's as if they only sell "good stuff" :wink: :lol: :P

The only good that comes out of the customer reviews is the body text where you can read the specifics and get a good feel for how bad something is. But it takes work on behalf of the critical shopper, which is why Amazon.com staff tend to leave those reviews alone. Unless of course we're talking about the HLP, which goes out of it's way to skewer and manipulate customer reviews on Amazon.com by scratching each other's back.
"They can chew you up, but they gotta spit you out."

User avatar
Tyrant
Posts: 381
Joined: 08 Feb 2008 22:45
Location: Kansas City, MO

Postby Tyrant » 16 Sep 2008 19:04

yeah..just a word of advice...dont trust reviews approved by someone who wants to sell you the book
Your friendly neighborhood Tyrant!!!

User avatar
Mr. Teg
Moderator
Posts: 699
Joined: 11 Feb 2008 10:14
Location: Chair
Contact:

Postby Mr. Teg » 17 Sep 2008 11:19

TheDukester wrote:Good idea. Seriously, it's come to the point where actual documentation will be needed to refute the claims of the preeks/HLP.

I'm still in a little bit of shock at how Amazon totally caved in during the Sandworms era. There were literally dozens of poor reviews that were deleted. Shameful.


My count hit 200 before I stopped tracking the deletions, which was over half a year ago.

The account holder can request a deletion of a review, but Amazon itself doesn't check then delete reviews. (Any request most fall under a set of guidelines for qualifying as worthy of deletion. For example, foul language or even specifically quoting the price in a review.)

The recent buy out of Tor by Macmillan could explain the mass deletions...
CHOAM
Combine Herbert Ober Anderson Mercantile, Narf!
Brian, Kevin & Byron Image The HLP

User avatar
Hunchback Jack
Posts: 1982
Joined: 30 May 2008 15:02
Location: California, USA

Postby Hunchback Jack » 18 Sep 2008 02:00

There are now 5 reviews up for Paul of Dune. All of them give 1 star.

I wonder if *that's* something Byron will crow about on DN :).

HBJ

Secher Nbiw
Posts: 66
Joined: 27 May 2008 06:55

Postby Secher Nbiw » 18 Sep 2008 04:13

let's save those gems then!

By You Know Who (Midwest USA) - See all my reviews

I've started reading this book and don't think I can finish it. I don't really care to see Frank Herbert's work desecrated any more. Save your money for a couple meals at Taco Bell or something.


Saw it in the bookstore... Oh Ick!, September 17, 2008
By E. Morris (CO USA) - See all my reviews


I was in the bookstore yesterday and saw this book on the new release counter. So having enjoyed the original Dune series by Frank Herbert, I thought that this might, just might be a little bit better than the rest that Kevin & Brian had done.

In skimming the first few pages oh, was I wrong!! The other comments have it totally correct. Avoid at all costs! The only reason I started skimming the first few pages was because of the description in dust jacket. What a let down!

Definitely deserves a zero!


Two chapters in and ready to burn it!, September 16, 2008
By E. E. Kegge (Den Haag, The Netherlands) - See all my reviews


I have read two chapters in this book and am ready to burn it together with all the other atrocities written by Kevin J Hackerson and the other guy.

This book is beyond bad ... way beyond bad. The number of ridiculous inconsistencies with the original books is already too high for any Dune fan to bear, and that just after two 2 page chapters!

The writing style of these two people who think they are writers becomes worse by the book.

Let nobody be fooled that the only reason these books are published is because the name Dune is on the cover and that makes money ... it has nothing to do with Dune and or literature.

Shadbad!


(he's my countryman...)

Secher Nbiw
Posts: 66
Joined: 27 May 2008 06:55

Postby Secher Nbiw » 18 Sep 2008 04:15

0 Stars, September 17, 2008
By T. Borgwardt "Orthodox Herbertarian" - See all my reviews


Paul of Dune is another poor attempt at writing in the Duniverse. It is obvious that this duo of authors has learned nothing from their previous 8 books and are severely lacking knowledge of the Duniverse. They add things in that contradict the original 6, for example: it is known that the Tleilaxu are religious fanatics in this book, although that was not revealed until Heretics of Dune to the other factions in the books, some millenia later. This and countless other inconsistencies and complete disregard for the legacy of Dune and its author Frank Herbert have made me give it a one star rating, although it really doesn't even deserve that. Poor writing, predictable plots, poor character development (although these characters have been developed in the books by Frank Herbert, they are badly represented in this book) and a need for action and one upmanship make this a book you definately should not read.


Needs a Zero-Star Review, gets one Star for audacity, September 16, 2008
By C. Carter Holland "Ampoliros" (Tejas) - See all my reviews


Caveat: I'm only half-way through the book (came out this morning) and its already clear the Author"s" either:

1) Have never read Dune with more than a passing glance

OR

2) Don't care about characterization, timeline, plot, or theme from the originals. At all.

( 3) Both. )

Again we have cardboard characters whose roles seem only loyal to the new Dune of the authors rather than their original characterization. Simpleton plots abound that a toddler could spot. Hardened warriors giggle like school girls. Fremen act like Viking invaders. All in all, this is not Dune.

The one-star for audacity comes not from the fact the authors saw fit to tell a tale between two of Frank's books, but from the fact that they do it while blatantly ignoring or changing things from the original books which will somehow have to be changed back to avoid continuity errors.

User avatar
Mr. Teg
Moderator
Posts: 699
Joined: 11 Feb 2008 10:14
Location: Chair
Contact:

Postby Mr. Teg » 18 Sep 2008 07:47

Hunchback Jack wrote:There are now 5 reviews up for Paul of Dune. All of them give 1 star.

I wonder if *that's* something Byron will crow about on DN :).

HBJ


Then there were 3...
CHOAM
Combine Herbert Ober Anderson Mercantile, Narf!
Brian, Kevin & Byron Image The HLP

Lundse
Posts: 524
Joined: 01 Jul 2008 11:36
Location: Århus, Denmark

My review.

Postby Lundse » 18 Sep 2008 07:52

The inconsistencies pile on, the writing is 'teen pulp'-style and misunderstandings abound. Business as usual, for this series of books.

KJA&BH cannot really have read Dune, as they misunderstand the rudimentary basics of eg. shield/sandstorm interaction and shield/worm interaction (shield failure/worm attack follows immediately in Frank Herbert's Dune universe, but not in this one).

Worse, as usual, is the misunderstanding of themes and what Frank Herbert's books were basically about. In an interview, the duo intimated that this is about how 'Paul Atreides gradually changes from hero to tyrant' - this happens in Dune, to the extend that Paul becomes a 'tyrant'. In truth, he becomes a tragic hero, who accepts his 'terrible purpose' of having started a Jihad he did not want - caught in the immorality of the 'necessities' he accepted, as typified brilliantly in Dune Messiah by his addiction to his visions which ultimately control him.

KJA&BH understand nothing of this, or choses simply to ignore it - recasting Dune as an action romp with neat guns and overkill assasination attempts featuring blood and gore.

They even stoop to attacking those who call them out on this in this book, writing: 'Paul's propagandists and deluded religious followers remained blithely unaware of the blinders they wore, of the dark forms they refused to see.'

A pathetic book on all levels - zero stars!

Secher_Nbiw
Posts: 175
Joined: 04 Jul 2008 06:24
Location: notts
Contact:

Re: My review.

Postby Secher_Nbiw » 18 Sep 2008 09:30

Lundse wrote:The inconsistencies pile on, the writing is 'teen pulp'-style and misunderstandings abound. Business as usual, for this series of books.

KJA&BH cannot really have read Dune, as they misunderstand the rudimentary basics of eg. shield/sandstorm interaction and shield/worm interaction (shield failure/worm attack follows immediately in Frank Herbert's Dune universe, but not in this one).

Worse, as usual, is the misunderstanding of themes and what Frank Herbert's books were basically about. In an interview, the duo intimated that this is about how 'Paul Atreides gradually changes from hero to tyrant' - this happens in Dune, to the extend that Paul becomes a 'tyrant'. In truth, he becomes a tragic hero, who accepts his 'terrible purpose' of having started a Jihad he did not want - caught in the immorality of the 'necessities' he accepted, as typified brilliantly in Dune Messiah by his addiction to his visions which ultimately control him.

KJA&BH understand nothing of this, or choses simply to ignore it - recasting Dune as an action romp with neat guns and overkill assasination attempts featuring blood and gore.

They even stoop to attacking those who call them out on this in this book, writing: 'Paul's propagandists and deluded religious followers remained blithely unaware of the blinders they wore, of the dark forms they refused to see.'

A pathetic book on all levels - zero stars!


That really annoyed me reading that, calling Paul a tyrant. Paul was, like you said a tragic character, consumed by his destiny, the 'oracle trapped by his vision'. His real crime was that of cowardice, but even then, had he not followed the vision through, then there would not have been a Golden Path to save humanity from itself and from other 'oracles'.
I am a mortal god.

Secher Nbiw
Posts: 66
Joined: 27 May 2008 06:55

Postby Secher Nbiw » 18 Sep 2008 09:41

next up deleting those last three reviews...

User avatar
Freakzilla
Lead Singer and Driver of the Winnebego
Posts: 18164
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 01:27
Location: Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Contact:

Re: My review.

Postby Freakzilla » 18 Sep 2008 12:39

Secher_Nbiw wrote:
Lundse wrote:The inconsistencies pile on, the writing is 'teen pulp'-style and misunderstandings abound. Business as usual, for this series of books.

KJA&BH cannot really have read Dune, as they misunderstand the rudimentary basics of eg. shield/sandstorm interaction and shield/worm interaction (shield failure/worm attack follows immediately in Frank Herbert's Dune universe, but not in this one).

Worse, as usual, is the misunderstanding of themes and what Frank Herbert's books were basically about. In an interview, the duo intimated that this is about how 'Paul Atreides gradually changes from hero to tyrant' - this happens in Dune, to the extend that Paul becomes a 'tyrant'. In truth, he becomes a tragic hero, who accepts his 'terrible purpose' of having started a Jihad he did not want - caught in the immorality of the 'necessities' he accepted, as typified brilliantly in Dune Messiah by his addiction to his visions which ultimately control him.

KJA&BH understand nothing of this, or choses simply to ignore it - recasting Dune as an action romp with neat guns and overkill assasination attempts featuring blood and gore.

They even stoop to attacking those who call them out on this in this book, writing: 'Paul's propagandists and deluded religious followers remained blithely unaware of the blinders they wore, of the dark forms they refused to see.'

A pathetic book on all levels - zero stars!


That really annoyed me reading that, calling Paul a tyrant. Paul was, like you said a tragic character, consumed by his destiny, the 'oracle trapped by his vision'. His real crime was that of cowardice, but even then, had he not followed the vision through, then there would not have been a Golden Path to save humanity from itself and from other 'oracles'.


But he didn't see the GP, so he's still a coward.
Image
Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman

Illogical Banana
Posts: 60
Joined: 24 Feb 2008 11:49

Postby Illogical Banana » 18 Sep 2008 12:57

I posted the 5th one last night, and it still survives. Currently there are 4 up.
“But what is the good of friendship if one cannot say exactly what one means? Anybody can say charming things and try to please and to flatter, but a true friend always says unpleasant things, and does not mind giving pain. Indeed, if he is a really true friend he prefers it, for he knows that then he is doing good.” -Oscar Wilde

User avatar
SandChigger
KJASF Ground Zero
Posts: 14490
Joined: 08 Feb 2008 22:29
Location: "Whatcha having, shoog? Hurry up and order now, I ain't got all day!"
Contact:

Postby SandChigger » 18 Sep 2008 13:58

I can't believe they're actually pulling the same shit with this book.

Guess the monkeys learned a new trick.

Miracles do happen. :roll:
I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA

User avatar
Hunchback Jack
Posts: 1982
Joined: 30 May 2008 15:02
Location: California, USA

Postby Hunchback Jack » 18 Sep 2008 14:37

It may be that they are deleting reviews by people who say that they didn't finish the book (or only read a few pages). Not defending Amazon, but that would be a legitimate reason to remove a review.

If any negative reviews by people who have read the book, of course, then Amazon's complicity will be obvious.

It's back up to 5 reviews again. All 1 star.

HBJ

User avatar
Hunchback Jack
Posts: 1982
Joined: 30 May 2008 15:02
Location: California, USA

Postby Hunchback Jack » 18 Sep 2008 14:40

Another one (not mine, I should hasten to say):

An Abomination-a "novel" in search of a subject, and in need of intelligence, September 17, 2008
By Allan W. Blasdale - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)
No Stars but I can't post it that way.

Paul of Dune is a mockery of Frank Herbert's awesome Dune Series. This is a painful, excruciatingly boring narrative of events in a universe that certainly has nothing to do with "Dune" as written by Frank Herbert. What dialogue there is is flat; motivation, when there is any at all, is based on a kind of pop psychology that might have been drawn from the Jetsons or Mickey Mouse. And as for the great Universe of Dune, and its 30,000 years of history-it isn't here at all. Don't waste your money on this bunch of scrap.

1 It is actually a story within a story; the first 103 pages show 2 authors writing 3rd grade English with absolutely no interest in what they are trying to write about-because there is no story here at all.

2 The real story begins on page 105. This is all about a 12 year old Paul, surrounded by all the people he knew back then, Jessica, Duke Leto, Fenring, Shaddam, the Baron, etc. But none of these characters is really here; these 2 "authors" don't have even the basics of how to really create a living, meaningful person on the written page. These are stick-figures. Paul himself is reduced to a stupid little boy who has no idea of why he exists. That he is the Kwisatz Hederach, Emperor of the Known Universe, is utterly impossible in these writers' hands. Neither of them has even a rudimentary idea of how a civilisation works, how an Emperor rules, what motivates a person with that sort of power. Not one character even vaguely resembles the rich, rounded portrait so carefully drawn by Frank Herbert.

3 The horrible writing only makes everything worse. These "authors" use catch phrases to convey meaning: "Using her Bene Gesserit skills" shows up so many times it suggests that neither writer has any idea what those "skills" might be. The plot, where there is one, is laid out in short chapters, hundreds of them, which permits action, but gives no room for motivation. There is no "why" for anything that happens in this book. Completely missing is the Universe that Frank Herbert created. There is no shading here at all: Fenring is always twisted, the Tleilaxu are always dirty, the Bene Gesserit always have their "skills", Irulan always writes, and there is no depth to any of it. Paul as an Emperor is simply beyond belief: such a one as these writers have created here would better serve as a boy scout.

4 Neither writer has any idea of how to portray valid human interaction; read pages 101-103 to understand this. Irulan has written a bio of paul; now she learns that not all was told, that there are truths which contradict her writings. Our awful twosome would have us believe, in this once so-sophisticated universe, that she will change none of what she has written; later, when she speaks of her concers to paul his reply is: "if you write it, they will believe it." This isn't even credible-and the book is full of these absurd platitudes, actions just the opposite of what would really occur.

5 Then there is the gratuitous violence. Frank Herbert never resorted to this. I can't help but remember Isaac Asimov's comment, "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent."

6 Summary: abominable, tortuous, absurd writing. A book filled with words signifying nothing. A meaningless plot, a distortion, a shredding, of Frank Herberts masterpiece. A disgrace to Science Fiction. To Brian herbert I would say, get out of town, you are way out of your league; and go back to gradeschool, and learn something about human nature.

To Anderson I would say, keep on signing your name, it's all you can do apparently; but stay from writing books-you know nothing about how to do that.

And to the Publisher and Editor: for shame. I want my money back. Kick these two out of your author list, because they don't know anything about writing.


HBJ
Last edited by Hunchback Jack on 18 Sep 2008 15:36, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Freakzilla
Lead Singer and Driver of the Winnebego
Posts: 18164
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 01:27
Location: Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Contact:

Postby Freakzilla » 18 Sep 2008 14:53

Good one! :lol:
Image
Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman

User avatar
A Thing of Eternity
Posts: 6090
Joined: 08 Apr 2008 15:35
Location: Calgary Alberta

Postby A Thing of Eternity » 18 Sep 2008 15:13

It'll be sad to see that one deleted.
Image

User avatar
Hunchback Jack
Posts: 1982
Joined: 30 May 2008 15:02
Location: California, USA

Re: My review.

Postby Hunchback Jack » 18 Sep 2008 15:30

That review a few posts back is not mine, I should hasten to add. Just saving it for posterity.

Lundse wrote:The inconsistencies pile on, the writing is 'teen pulp'-style and misunderstandings abound. Business as usual, for this series of books.


Your review of Sandworms was also right on the money, Lundse. Your observation about Frank's waryness of heroes vs. Sandworms "unite under one leader" theme is spot on.

HBJ

Lundse
Posts: 524
Joined: 01 Jul 2008 11:36
Location: Århus, Denmark

Re: My review.

Postby Lundse » 18 Sep 2008 16:40

Hunchback Jack wrote:Your review of Sandworms was also right on the money, Lundse. Your observation about Frank's waryness of heroes vs. Sandworms "unite under one leader" theme is spot on.

HBJ


Got it from someone around here :-)

But it is a really, really, big deal - comparable to rewriting who forged the one ring in LoTR or something.

Which gives me an idea:
http://www.jacurutu.com/viewtopic.php?p=20909#20909

User avatar
Ampoliros
Posts: 2518
Joined: 14 Mar 2008 11:22
Location: I think we took a wrong turn...

Postby Ampoliros » 18 Sep 2008 20:10

It's hilarious how in this they suggest that Paul can't see the Golden Path, but was searching for it. They always use the exact same example for his prescience, that he can only see 'over the dunes'

DUNES ARE FLUID, AS IS PRESCIENCE. Where did I read that, OH YEAH, IN DUNE.

I'm sorry if my excessive use of caps annoys anyone.
Semper Fidelis Tyrannosaurus

User avatar
TheDukester
Posts: 3808
Joined: 20 Jun 2008 13:44
Location: Operation Enduring Bacon
Contact:

Postby TheDukester » 18 Sep 2008 20:17

Ampoliros wrote:I'm sorry if my excessive use of caps annoys anyone.

GOD DAMNIT!
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.

User avatar
Ampoliros
Posts: 2518
Joined: 14 Mar 2008 11:22
Location: I think we took a wrong turn...

Postby Ampoliros » 19 Sep 2008 00:32

Using her Bene Gesserit skills" shows up so many times it suggests that neither writer has any idea what those "skills" might be.


Except for turning invisible. But apparently BG forget a ton of shit. :roll:

I'm assuming that its because everyone in KJA's universes exist in some kind of weird static space-time where the only rules that matter are the rules of the scene. No wonder Paul has no usable prescience in his books, its because time consists of a bubble as wide as the reader's field of vision. Kevin writes in stream-of-consciousness. That's why there is so much repetition and soooo much shit that can only be made up off the top of the head.

Rant Time!

His books enrage ear-biters in their simplicity.

Mentally challenged people read them and complain that his sophomoric attempts at mocking them are only a display of his own inadequate self-image.

Doctors use his books to induce coma and test for vegetative states.

Parents use the books to manipulate the timing of puberty; introduce early to slow progression.

In some countries you need a prescription to buy Paul of Dune because it's been found have abortifactive effects.

Michael Vick was turned in by one of his own dog handlers when he put up a prize pit-bull against a copy of Sandworms.

There have been 3 recorded attempted exorcisms of KJA's books. One priest survived.

You've heard that playing Mozart for your infant increases intelligence; playing audio books of PoD increases Sociopathy.

Emo kids have progressed beyond cutting themselves to reading KJA.

It wasn't anthrax that was mailed to Congress in 2002, it was an early draft of The Battle of Corrin.

(I deleted this one out of respect for those who lost their lives or loved ones on 9-11, suffice to say it suggested alternate reasons for the attack)

If your Girlfriend/Partner/Significant Other has a headache, just start reading from KJA. They'll go down on you, or have an aneurysm. If they don't they find the 'prose' acceptable and you should probably end the relationship. Reading from KJA is a good way to do this.

Liking KJA is what Irreconcilable Differences means in legalese.

Karl Rove sends out copies of KJA's books. This is why people hate the "Liberal Media"

I leave an audio book of KJA running in my house when I'm away. I'm assuming why this why no one breaks into my house. I make sure to keep my pets outside when I do this.

Many species of animal in Colorado are on the endangered species list simply because they live near the paths KJA hikes. We should mail some of his books to the Parks and Wildlife Animal Psychologists so they will know why Colorado Wildlife has such a high suicide rate.

okay these are petty jabs, sure, but if you can't take the heat, stay out of the public eye.
Semper Fidelis Tyrannosaurus

User avatar
TheDukester
Posts: 3808
Joined: 20 Jun 2008 13:44
Location: Operation Enduring Bacon
Contact:

Postby TheDukester » 19 Sep 2008 01:09

Not even Chuck Norris can read Sandworms without gagging.
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.


Return to “˲”