Jessica of Dune Predictions!

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sparafucile
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Jessica of Dune Predictions!

Postby sparafucile » 06 Oct 2008 12:45

Now that PoD's hit the shelves, the hacks twain are no doubt working on pushing out JoD. What are your predictions for this book?

- Now that the Tleilaxu have seen first hand that memories can be restored, they will milk this to the extreme by bringing back old enemies: Piter? Shaddam? Endless possibilities!
- Some pointless sideplot involving Jacurutu.

Any other thoughts? :lol:

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Postby Freakzilla » 06 Oct 2008 13:01

They will retcon the story in PuD where the BT KH wasn't actually killed by Marie Fenring, that was all a dream by one of the cast members on the TV show "Dallas".
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Postby DuneFishUK » 06 Oct 2008 14:19

You know Dune Messiah?

Irulan wrote that... Now this is what REALLY happened...


:shock: :puke:

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Postby Tleszer » 06 Oct 2008 14:46

JoD will probably be about Gurney Halleck and Jessica's perversions in the bedroom. Leto will come back as a ghola and challenge Gurney to single combat. They kill each other and Jessica has the BT create a combined Leto/Gurney ghola. There will then be a new love triangle between Jessica, Irulan, and Leto Halleck. This plot will not be resolved in Irulan of Dune. It will be dealt with quickly by Leto II through a Duncan Idaho ghola in Leto of Dune.

Then they'll all eat pie.
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on Jessica of DUNE

Postby Sole Man » 06 Oct 2008 15:32

There's gonna be a big chase scene and a weird cameo by Ben Stiller.

Plus a 500 page subplot that has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with anything about how an aged Fremen named Byron Merrit killed all of the Sandchiggers on Arrakis, destroyed the Omphalos Stone, and banished all Freaks of knowledge.

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Re: on Jessica of DUNE

Postby Tleszer » 06 Oct 2008 15:58

Sole Man wrote:There's gonna be a big chase scene and a weird cameo by Ben Stiller.

Plus a 500 page subplot that has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with anything about how an aged Fremen named Byron Merrit killed all of the Sandchiggers on Arrakis, destroyed the Omphalos Stone, and banished all Freaks of knowledge.


And then Sole Man, lasgun-slinger steps out of the shadows and saves Arrukus, the Dessert Planet, from pretzel-rider Byron and his cooking prowess?

Hark, the Alpha is coming... and O'Malley is pissed!
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Postby SandChigger » 06 Oct 2008 17:45

Poop, sparafucile, poop. :?

I was thinking of starting a year-long "Name Jessica's DARK THING" thread. Kinda beat me to it.

So...they've already said that Jessica will do something dark, very dark (Is "dark" suddenly chic or something?) and we'll all be blown away.

:roll:

I think Gurney knocks her up and she eats the fetus to get back in good with the Bene Gesserit.

After all, they're witches and witches eat children, right?
"Let the dead give water to the dead. As for me, it's NO MORE FUCKING TEARS!"

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Postby Tleszer » 06 Oct 2008 17:54

SandChigger wrote:I think Gurney knocks her up and she eats the fetus to get back in good with the Bene Gesserit.

After all, they're witches and witches eat children, right?


:twisted:

*insert Silent Hill 3 joke here (SPOILERS TO BE SURE)*

Jessica is one sick puppy!
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Re: on Jessica of DUNE

Postby SimonH » 06 Oct 2008 18:01

Sole Man wrote:...
Plus a 500 page subplot that has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with anything about how an aged Fremen named Byron Merrit killed all of the Sandchiggers on Arrakis, destroyed the Omphalos Stone, and banished all Freaks of knowledge.


:lol:

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Postby SandChigger » 06 Oct 2008 18:49

(Can't kill ALL of us. And Mastah B has genetic samples. ... Oooh...Ghola Chiggers! :shock: )

Not mine yet. I guess I had better get that mail order jizz sample off to him. :D
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Re: on Jessica of DUNE

Postby Rakis » 06 Oct 2008 22:32

Sole Man wrote:There's gonna be a big chase scene and a weird cameo by Ben Stiller.

Plus a 500 page subplot that has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with anything about how an aged Fremen named Byron Merrit killed all of the Sandchiggers on Arrakis, destroyed the Omphalos Stone, and banished all Freaks of knowledge.


- Some pointless sideplot involving Jacurutu.


I think you are both right...i can see the hacks making a parody of Jacurutu and yank about it with each other...Image
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re:

Postby cmsahe » 07 Oct 2008 01:08

Freakzilla wrote:They will retcon the story in PuD where the BT KH wasn't actually killed by Marie Fenring, that was all a dream by one of the cast members on the TV show "Dallas".


And a man named Parmalee will claim to be the Duke Leto, he will explain his new face as the result of plastic surgery after surviving an ornithopter accident (during the Harkonnen attack) In this way, the huge pyramid will be dismantled, because he is alive, but then Miss Ellie, sorry I mean Jessica will discover that he is just a Face Dancer!

Meanwhile the Bene Gesserit buys a lingerie franchise and...

(my plot sounds interesting Are you reading this BH/KJA? ;) )
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Postby Mr. Teg » 07 Oct 2008 07:16

SandChigger wrote:(Can't kill ALL of us. And Mastah B has genetic samples. ... Oooh...Ghola Chiggers! :shock: )


An Honored Hyppo will sexually awaken the memories of the Ghola Chiggers :shock:
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Postby trang » 07 Oct 2008 09:32

I think the entire book will be about jessica tring to get paul, alia, leto and ghanima to go west vergina. The title will be incest of dune.

Jessica is captured by benny and the gesserits on the way back to caladan, and they do some torture and twisting to get her back under their control. They never forgave her for making the KS by having paul instead of a daughter, and paul being outside their influence and unleashing him on the known universe.

We will get 515 pages of who she gets to sleep with who and how, and how she fails miserably.

The ending with the big dark scene where she finnaly just takes two bottle s of Jim beam, a ball bat (signed by babe ruth) a giant tickle feather and some barry white recordings and bags Leto.

In leto II of dune (stupid sounding title)(the early years) He will have her killed yet saving her cells. Somewhere along the line of his transformation he will have have her gholaized and her memores shocked back by the Bijaz memory recovery and juggling troop.Once her memories are resttored, leto will bed her worm style!!!! do the worm granny!!

Of course he will have her killed again and redo this, ala duncan style, a few hundred times to get payback.

They will of course squeeze in a section or two of her torid afair with Gurney, something like running thru the jungles of caladan an the primative caladanians area.

thats about my best guess, I guess.

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Postby Mr. Teg » 07 Oct 2008 10:20

Baraka Bryan wrote:
Mr. Teg wrote:
An Honored Hyppo will sexually awaken the memories of the Ghola Chiggers :shock:
.....who will then promptly kill themselves


:D

What...who...where am I...how many years hav... :shock:
UUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!
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Postby Ampoliros » 07 Oct 2008 11:54

Duh, Jessica tries to have Alia assassinated because she's all abominated.
She tries to have the children assassinated because they are all almost abominated. She ghola's Marie cause KJA can't stand to have his pwecious Superweapon die. Marie fails again in her seduction/assassination attempt of Alia. Fenring cries, but Alia sentences him to Life, again.
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Postby DuneFishUK » 07 Oct 2008 14:46

Ampoliros wrote:Duh, Jessica tries to have Alia assassinated because she's all abominated.
She tries to have the children assassinated because they are all almost abominated. She ghola's Marie cause KJA can't stand to have his pwecious Superweapon die. Marie fails again in her seduction/assassination attempt of Alia. Fenring cries, but Alia sentences him to Life, again.


awwwwww... spoilers!

:shock:


I always wondered how Paul went from being a tyrant emperor to being an anarchist preacher - It's a tremendous shift in character but because it happens between book it is never really explained...

:(

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Postby Freakzilla » 07 Oct 2008 14:55

DuneFishUK wrote:
Ampoliros wrote:Duh, Jessica tries to have Alia assassinated because she's all abominated.
She tries to have the children assassinated because they are all almost abominated. She ghola's Marie cause KJA can't stand to have his pwecious Superweapon die. Marie fails again in her seduction/assassination attempt of Alia. Fenring cries, but Alia sentences him to Life, again.


awwwwww... spoilers!

:shock:


I always wondered how Paul went from being a tyrant emperor to being an anarchist preacher - It's a tremendous shift in character but because it happens between book it is never really explained...

:(


It is, briefly, in Children of Dune. They fed him spice essence and tempted him with women until he pretty much went crazy.

I dissagree with your labeling him an anarchist though, he was trying to achieve a very specific goal.
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Postby DuneFishUK » 07 Oct 2008 14:57

Freakzilla wrote:
DuneFishUK wrote:
Ampoliros wrote:Duh, Jessica tries to have Alia assassinated because she's all abominated.
She tries to have the children assassinated because they are all almost abominated. She ghola's Marie cause KJA can't stand to have his pwecious Superweapon die. Marie fails again in her seduction/assassination attempt of Alia. Fenring cries, but Alia sentences him to Life, again.


awwwwww... spoilers!

:shock:


I always wondered how Paul went from being a tyrant emperor to being an anarchist preacher - It's a tremendous shift in character but because it happens between book it is never really explained...

:(


It is, briefly, in Children of Dune. They fed him spice essence and tempted him with women until he pretty much went crazy.

I dissagree with your labeling him an anarchist though, he was trying to achieve a very specific goal.


Irulan included many inconsistencies... :roll:

(OOC: you're right, I forgot about that. And anarchist could have been the wrong word - was thinking in the anti-authority/government vein...)

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Re: on Jessica of DUNE

Postby Sole Man » 07 Oct 2008 15:43

Tleszer wrote:
Hark, the Alpha is coming... and O'Malley is pissed!



Church is the Alpha.

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Re: on Jessica of DUNE

Postby Tleszer » 07 Oct 2008 16:10

Sole Man wrote:
Tleszer wrote:
Hark, the Alpha is coming... and O'Malley is pissed!



Church is the Alpha.


Just wait until Tex shows up. Church won't be the Alpha for long.
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Re: on Jessica of DUNE

Postby Tleszer » 08 Oct 2008 07:34

Baraka Bryan wrote:
Tleszer wrote:
Sole Man wrote:
Tleszer wrote:
Hark, the Alpha is coming... and O'Malley is pissed!



Church is the Alpha.


Just wait until Tex shows up. Church won't be the Alpha for long.



what is tex then...?


Washington basically said that there are no such thing as ghosts so he thinks that Church is the Alpha. Now, either ghosts do exist in that universe, since Tex seems to be one, or she's also similar to the AI. Her personality didn't change that much after the O'Malley left her armor (she just might be slightly less evil :wink: ) This is just conjecture on my part.

God, I can't believe that I'm analyzing Red vs Blue :D
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On Tex

Postby Sole Man » 08 Oct 2008 15:16

I was pisse too, but I figured they wree going to do that.

There was a scene in RECONSTRCUTION when they first visit Church's base, and Caboose says something about him dating Tex. Wash responds with: "Agent Texas? But how could some-" and then Church interupts them. He could be referring to dating an A.I.

But, that's inconsistant. When asked about her code name, Tex responded with Nevada. Hurm...

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Postby Omphalos » 08 Oct 2008 16:37

I think that they will have the Abominable Snowman appear in Alia's OM. Yea. That fits.

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Postby Tleszer » 08 Oct 2008 16:53

Omphalos wrote:I think that they will have the Abominable Snowman appear in Alia's OM. Yea. That fits.


The Abominable Snowman will be wearing a top hat and will sing and dance to "Puttin on the Ritz."

Also, he will be a ninja pirate that aches to plunder Mohiam's Pain Box.
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