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In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 09 Oct 2009 03:52
by Phaedrus
So, I was thinking, where am I going to be when the Butlerian Jihad comes(as it inevitably must)? I failed to find an answer, but I did realize one thing: I should be prepared. So I decided to make a list of a small bundle of must-have items to keep in a closet or in the trunk of my car, so as to be prepared when the computer-smashing commences.

So far, I have:

-1 baseball bat, for the smashing of all thinking machines in sight.
-1 complete classic Dune series, for guidance, and as notes for religious texts.
-1 bottle of bourbon, because it's always a good idea to have one.
-1 Math textbook, because someone's got to learn to do that shit on paper again.

What else should go in the Butlerian Jihad emergency kit? Any other interesting preparations?

Be ready. The Thinking Machines will be crushed any day now.

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 09 Oct 2009 04:32
by Redstar
If a Butlerian Jihad were to occur, I imagine it would be effectively instantaneous by triggering an EMP that crashes all the banks and computers, forcing a depression that would take forever to recover from. A similar scenario occurs in Fitzpatrick's War, which keeps satellites permanently placing a dampening field over the earth to prevent tech from working.

An abacus is all I can really think of, though I'd save that for the dominating class of Math-Men.

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 09 Oct 2009 04:46
by lotek
Pulse Grenades:
Image
An electromagnetic pulse grenade, generating an intense magnetic field on detonation. Doesn't affect biological creatures. Contact fuse.


From Fallout 3 :cylon101:

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 09 Oct 2009 04:50
by SandChigger
Hey, Phaedrus, you prodigal SOB! (=Son of Butler?! :P ) Where the hell you been? :D

You better be prepared to use that ball bat to crack my head and put me down, cause from my cold dead hand is the only way you're going to pry this mouse! I'm with the machines! :P MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA! :twisted:

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 09 Oct 2009 04:58
by Arrrmanda
Would you have condoms so when humans inevitably start sexing out of frustration, you don't knock up just any old broad, or would you try and impregnate as many womens as possible to further our ranks?

This is imporant, please answer in explicit detail.


J/K. Or am I?

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 09 Oct 2009 05:22
by lotek
see now you've scared every one off with you straightforward attitude to sex :)

(or maybe sandrider's asleep right now)

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 09 Oct 2009 05:24
by inhuien
It's the ambiguity caused but the final question that is my get out clause.

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 09 Oct 2009 05:26
by Arrrmanda
I know, my bad. :cry:

I gotta get to bed anyway. I expect a response tomorrow. But really, I'm teaming up with the machines. Sorry humanity, but I can't live without TV. :wink:

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 09 Oct 2009 05:26
by Redstar
Without significant technology running the hospitals, we'd see a dramatic increase in infant mortality. Plus most people are idiots and believe old wives' tales as far as pregnancy, birthing, and child-rearing. We can fuck all we want in a post-tech world and most likely still see a decrease in population.

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 09 Oct 2009 05:29
by Arrrmanda
That's not saying very much for "mother's intuition" eh?

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 09 Oct 2009 05:32
by inhuien
And we'd all be dead by 30, most likely by absences and bad breath.

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 09 Oct 2009 08:12
by Freakzilla
I'm saving all the copper wire and magnets I can so after the apocylyps I can build a waterwheel next to a stream and have it power a generator to run my computers.

All my books and porn are digital, what else am I to do?

My kids will establish an armed perimeter to blast any of you Ludites who come near.

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 09 Oct 2009 08:14
by Freakzilla
Arrrmanda wrote:I know, my bad. :cry:

I gotta get to bed anyway. I expect a response tomorrow. But really, I'm teaming up with the machines. Sorry humanity, but I can't live without TV. :wink:


Come over. :wink:

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 09 Oct 2009 11:04
by SandRider
Phaedrus wrote:So, I was thinking, where am I going to be when the Butlerian Jihad comes(as it inevitably must)? I failed to find an answer, but I did realize one thing: I should be prepared. So I decided to make a list of a small bundle of must-have items to keep in a closet or in the trunk of my car, so as to be prepared when the computer-smashing commences.

So far, I have:

-1 baseball bat, for the smashing of all thinking machines in sight.
-1 complete classic Dune series, for guidance, and as notes for religious texts.
-1 bottle of bourbon, because it's always a good idea to have one.
-1 Math textbook, because someone's got to learn to do that shit on paper again.

What else should go in the Butlerian Jihad emergency kit? Any other interesting preparations?

Be ready. The Thinking Machines will be crushed any day now.


kay, first off, one bottle of bourbon just ain't gonna cut it.

you're gonna need a sawed-off shotgun and a dunebuggy,
DeWalt cordless drill, a trained bear with chain saws for hands,
and a ... wait, what ?

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 09 Oct 2009 13:15
by A Thing of Eternity
SandRider wrote:
Phaedrus wrote:So, I was thinking, where am I going to be when the Butlerian Jihad comes(as it inevitably must)? I failed to find an answer, but I did realize one thing: I should be prepared. So I decided to make a list of a small bundle of must-have items to keep in a closet or in the trunk of my car, so as to be prepared when the computer-smashing commences.

So far, I have:

-1 baseball bat, for the smashing of all thinking machines in sight.
-1 complete classic Dune series, for guidance, and as notes for religious texts.
-1 bottle of bourbon, because it's always a good idea to have one.
-1 Math textbook, because someone's got to learn to do that shit on paper again.

What else should go in the Butlerian Jihad emergency kit? Any other interesting preparations?

Be ready. The Thinking Machines will be crushed any day now.


kay, first off, one bottle of bourbon just ain't gonna cut it.

you're gonna need a sawed-off shotgun and a dunebuggy,
DeWalt cordless drill, a trained bear with chain saws for hands,
and a ... wait, what ?

:lol:

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 09 Oct 2009 13:23
by Arrrmanda
I don't even know what to say in this thread any more. I think I would probably kill my fiance within 10 minutes of trying to use a real map.

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 09 Oct 2009 18:51
by SandChigger
He's that bad at reading them? :(

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 09 Oct 2009 21:47
by Omphalos
No way I would wall myself in a compound. I'd take to the sands and deliver death from stealthily hidden positions. Eventually though, because of my politically centrist view point, I would become the living embodiment of the mind-machine interface. And Im sure in the process I would piss everyone off on both sides. That's kind of what I live for, so I think that would be kewl.

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 10 Oct 2009 02:22
by Arrrmanda
I would loot the shit out of Target then make my base in Skywalker Ranch. You guys aren't invited sorry. :snooty:

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 10 Oct 2009 02:28
by Redstar
I live near a forest. I could probably camp out there until things die down, though with no Wi-Fi I wouldn't get to check on KJA's Twitter updates. :(

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 10 Oct 2009 02:37
by Arrrmanda
Not to mention...SNAKES!

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 10 Oct 2009 20:52
by Slugger
We have a camp literally in the middle of no-where. I think that's a good enough place to hide till things calm down....

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 11 Oct 2009 04:43
by Serkanner
I'm doomed ... don't even have a basement to hide in.

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 11 Oct 2009 13:05
by SandRider
awright, zombies are attracted to loud noise & bright lights, right ?

so what you gotta do is head to an big-ass amusement park,
fire up all the lights and rides, then trap yourself up on a
rollercoaster and .... wait, what ?

Re: In Case of Religious War against Computers...

Posted: 11 Oct 2009 19:38
by Omphalos
SandRider wrote:awright, zombies are attracted to loud noise & bright lights, right ?

so what you gotta do is head to an big-ass amusement park,
fire up all the lights and rides, then trap yourself up on a
rollercoaster and .... wait, what ?



I saw Zombieland last week. Loved it.