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Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 17 May 2009 16:55
by Eyes High
SandChigger wrote:Can't I go both ways?

:shock:

Um ... let me rephrase that.... :oops:


:lol: Yes, please do. :lol:

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 18 May 2009 08:31
by Schu
It works for me ;)

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 18 May 2009 09:27
by SandChigger
Now that's a worry. :P

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 18 May 2009 19:59
by Robspierre
I do see the bottom of Justice Shallow. Lord,
Lord, how subject we old men are to this vice of lying!
This same starved justice hath done nothing but prate to
me of the wildness of his youth... When a was naked,
he was for all the world like a forked radish, with a head
fantastically carved upon it with a knife...A came ever
in the rearward of the fashion...

Filthy Shakespeare.........

Rob

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 19 May 2009 00:50
by SandChigger
GET THEE BACK TO THY BOOKS, BOY,
And whimper thy woes at some comely lass!
(Or like as not, thy nursemaid?) Thy tartan
Manskirt thou shalt wear upon thy head
If e'er I do hear one young and hale
As thee mouth "we old men" again!

:twisted:

;) :lol:

(Hast seen the haggard of late? :? )

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 19 May 2009 09:18
by inhuien
SandChigger wrote:(Hast seen the haggard of late? :? )


Not 'round these parts, Pilgrim. Has he gone off planting Solar Panels once more?

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 19 May 2009 12:14
by SandChigger
I think he was tilting with wind towers, singing something from Man of La Mancha.

Or tipping cattle?

'Twas the one or t'other.

(There, that oughta bring him roaring outa the woodwork. Add this for good measure...)

:character-oldtimer:

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 20 May 2009 07:19
by SandRider

Oh, thy Foul, Foul Insect,
Crawling forth from thy webby lair
Like some Satan-spawned plague,
Hiding thy hideous visage behind a Fluffy Mask ....

Art thou cute & cuddly ?
Art thou timid & tamed ?
Nay, Villian, thou art louse-ridden,
incontinent, coughing up blood from thy diseased lungs
as bile does spew from thy mouth, You Sir, I say,
are but swine-flu on the wind ....


Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 20 May 2009 10:14
by Tleszer
:clap:

Excellent! I love reading these.

-TheIncontinentTleszer

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 20 May 2009 11:15
by SandChigger
O what Joy then must greet the Return of this Prodigal
Knotty-pated Whoreson Spawn of Hell! Yea, Graybeard,
Well dost thou speak of Contagion, thou foul Plague Sore,
Thou embossed Carbuncle, thou enragèd Boil
Upon the Buttocks of the World! Away, again, with thee!
Whey-faced Puttock, Poison thou art to human Eyes
And the Sight of thee heapeth a years Age on me!
Hie thee to a Barber such as will let thy corrupted Blood
And lay thy goatish Disposition to Rest!

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 20 May 2009 11:29
by GamePlayer
I'm gonna have to bookmark this page as a source for imaginative phrases. Webby-lair, louse-ridden and enragèd Boil
Upon the Buttocks of the World are classics :)

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 20 May 2009 11:37
by Eyes High
You two are so...

words doth fail me.

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 20 May 2009 11:43
by Freakzilla
Eyes High wrote:You two are so...

words doth fail me.


Eloquently viscious?

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 20 May 2009 12:02
by TheDukester
Man, ino wonder there were duels and sword-fights back in those days. That's some heavy shit they were saying to each other ...

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 20 May 2009 12:27
by inhuien
It beats "You Suck!!" hands down.

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 20 May 2009 12:34
by Freakzilla
inhuien wrote:It beats "You Suck!!" hands down.


Yo mamma! :P

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 20 May 2009 14:17
by GamePlayer
Don't be hatin' :)

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 20 May 2009 20:59
by SandRider

Tis been said that once did the SandChigger have
a lucid thought run rampart about his gourd, yet
did this poor thought get caught-up in his nose hair,
ne'er to be thought of again ....

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 21 May 2009 04:24
by SandChigger
Yea, verily, thou hast marked well the luxuriance
Of my native coney nasal hairs. Would thou wert
As diligent in thy daily ablutions (particularly of
Thy chancrous fly-blown privates) as in thy observations,
Thou noisome rump-ripe bum-bailey! Then at last
Might I trim said tresses and breathe sweet air again!
:animals-bunnywhite:

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 21 May 2009 06:46
by SandRider


My stench offends thee, sir ?
Surely, it does offend,
but it does offend thee, sir ?

Thou who dost dwell deep in a dark dungeon,
lounging in the rank sweat of an enseamed bed,
strewed in corruption, honeying and rutting in a nasty sty.

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 21 May 2009 07:07
by inhuien
Freakzilla wrote:
inhuien wrote:It beats "You Suck!!" hands down.


Yo mamma! :P

Ach!! Away and boil yir heed, ya Bam!!! :P :lol:

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 21 May 2009 22:01
by SandChigger
(Bounce aside, thou rubbersome Git, that I might sight The Haggard true!)

Yea, O crumble-bone self-pissing Hoar-Beard,
Thy Stench is such as should offend even that
Of the most foetid Faeces of a distemper-deranged Swine
Writhing in the gut-griping Throes of their Evacuation!

(And what know'st thou of my Abode or Repose,
Thou dankish shadow-stalking pox-ripe Ratsbane?
Keep thee far from both, lest thy Smell adhere!)

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 22 May 2009 14:24
by loremaster
Freakzilla wrote:
Eyes High wrote:You two are so...

words doth fail me.


Eloquently viscious?


Eloquently vicious? or Eloquently viscous?

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 22 May 2009 21:07
by SandRider

All the infections that the sun sucks up from bogs, fens, flats, on SandChigger fall,
and make him by inch meal a disease.

Re: SandChigger ! Thou Art Villian ....

Posted: 22 May 2009 23:02
by SandChigger
(Heaven smiles upon yon Dotard
As he nods and drools, ye see.)
If Meal I seem and thou wouldst sup,
Come, Haggard, and eat me!