Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

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lotek
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Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby lotek » 07 Jan 2010 08:26

Dear Sandrider,

I write to you as I have this embarassing problem in regards to my sexual endeavours(i use not the word lightly, believe me)with my wife, which shall go by the alias "Goth Armband" to protect her intimacy(and avoid further shame on herself, shame being something that I personally don't feel or I would not be who I am_but I disgress)

I have picked up the habit of having a threesome involving my new dictater in an attempt to salvage our relationship, after the tragic face off that led to GA finding me and my former dictater in a compromising position on that huge moutain (20m high) I hike up every day to keep in perfect shape and that led to the dictater tumbling down to its death from a cliff, screaming my name to the last instant...

So now I am worried I cannot touch GA anymore without my dictater recording our lovemaking and playing in back in reverse I swear I hear the words "you are a hack and an idiot" and I know it can't be a figment of my imangination as I'm pretty sure I don't even know the meaning of that word.

Can you help me? Or firstly do you think i need help?

dicthiked on a massive moutain so big only I can climb it
regards
KJA

ho bollocks I did record my name didn't I?
Spice is the worm's gonads.

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Jabecca
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby Jabecca » 07 Jan 2010 08:34

lotek wrote:Dear Sandrider,

I write to you as I have this embarassing problem in regards to my sexual endeavours(i use not the word lightly, believe me)with my wife, which shall go by the alias "Goth Armband" to protect her intimacy(and avoid further shame on herself, shame being something that I personally don't feel or I would not be who I am_but I disgress)

I have picked up the habit of having a threesome involving my new dictater in an attempt to salvage our relationship, after the tragic face off that led to GA finding me and my former dictater in a compromising position on that huge moutain (20m high) I hike up every day to keep in perfect shape and that led to the dictater tumbling down to its death from a cliff, screaming my name to the last instant...

So now I am worried I cannot touch GA anymore without my dictater recording our lovemaking and playing in back in reverse I swear I hear the words "you are a hack and an idiot" and I know it can't be a figment of my imangination as I'm pretty sure I don't even know the meaning of that word.

Can you help me? Or firstly do you think i need help?

dicthiked on a massive moutain so big only I can climb it
regards
KJA

ho bollocks I did record my name didn't I?


Dear Bitch

Get off the internet and get back into bed!

Momma's still hungry!
Licky Licky

GA
"Supersize Me!" -McDune
http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/

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Seraphan
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby Seraphan » 07 Jan 2010 10:01

lotek wrote:on a massive moutain so big only I can climb it

:laughing: :clap:
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"The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do not understand." - Frank Herbert
“This tutoring is dialectical. Literature makes us better noticers of life; we get to practice on life itself; which in turn makes us better readers of detail in literature; which in turn makes us better readers of life. And so on and on.” - James Wood

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lotek
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby lotek » 07 Jan 2010 10:06

Seraphan wrote:
lotek wrote:on a massive moutain so big only I can climb it

:laughing: :clap:


I think I outsmarted myself(again)as I hadn't seen the potentiel for double entendre in that sentence :lol:
Spice is the worm's gonads.

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Tleszer
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby Tleszer » 07 Jan 2010 11:21

:clap: :lol: :puke:
DUNE, as interpreted by a blue man with a green tushie

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lotek
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby lotek » 07 Jan 2010 11:28

Jabecca wrote:Dear Bitch

Get off the internet and get back into bed!

Momma's still hungry! I bet you are :p
Licky Licky Scary!!!

GA
Spice is the worm's gonads.

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inhuien
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby inhuien » 07 Jan 2010 11:49

lotek wrote:
Jabecca wrote:Dear Bitch

Get off the internet and get back into bed!

Momma's still hungry! I bet you are :p
Licky Licky Scary!!!

GAG
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chanilover
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby chanilover » 07 Jan 2010 12:13

:lol: Poor Jabecca. She should stand behind those GOD HATES FAGS banner-waving clowns as proof that he ain't that keen on straights either.
"You and your buddies and that b*tch Mandy are nothing but a gang of lying, socially maladjusted losers." - St Hypatia of Arrakeen.
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lotek
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby lotek » 07 Jan 2010 12:30

chanilover wrote::lol: Poor Jabecca. She should stand behind those GOD HATES FAGS banner-waving clowns as proof that he ain't that keen on straights either.

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(I didn't do it just nicked it from some website)

I know it was easy but I ain't :)
Spice is the worm's gonads.

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SandRider
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby SandRider » 07 Jan 2010 13:37

lotek wrote:Dear Sandrider,

I write to you as I have this embarassing problem in regards to my sexual endeavours(i use not the word lightly, believe me)with my wife, which shall go by the alias "Goth Armband" to protect her intimacy(and avoid further shame on herself, shame being something that I personally don't feel or I would not be who I am_but I disgress)

I have picked up the habit of having a threesome involving my new dictater in an attempt to salvage our relationship, after the tragic face off that led to GA finding me and my former dictater in a compromising position on that huge moutain (20m high) I hike up every day to keep in perfect shape and that led to the dictater tumbling down to its death from a cliff, screaming my name to the last instant...

So now I am worried I cannot touch GA anymore without my dictater recording our lovemaking and playing in back in reverse I swear I hear the words "you are a hack and an idiot" and I know it can't be a figment of my imangination as I'm pretty sure I don't even know the meaning of that word.

Can you help me? Or firstly do you think i need help?

dicthiked on a massive moutain so big only I can climb it
regards
KJA

ho bollocks I did record my name didn't I?


Dear "KJA",

You state that your problem is that you fear you cannot perform your "husbandly" duties with
your "wife", because the digital recorder you had been having an intimate relationship with might
record the act and play it back to torment you.

Yet in the previous paragraph, you state that the digitial recorder had fallen to its death.

I really can't help you if you can't keep the details of your story straight.

Normally, I would suggest professional counseling to deal with your "truth & honesty" issues,
as well as your "consistencies" issues, however, a person must be willing to admit there are
problems first, and I fear you would deny there is anything wrong with you and so subvert
the methods of help available.

So the best I can do is tell to Sit Down & Shut the Fuck Up.

Yours in Christ,
The SandRider
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
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I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people.
~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008

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lotek
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby lotek » 07 Jan 2010 13:51

SandRider wrote:So the best I can do is tell to Sit Down & Shut the Fuck Up.


:mrgreen:
Spice is the worm's gonads.

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trang
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby trang » 09 Jan 2010 05:56

isnt that phrase, "sit down, have a smile, and a cup of shut the fuck up?"
"Long Live the Fighters", "Dragon.....the other white meat."

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inhuien
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby inhuien » 09 Jan 2010 06:37

Tut tut, Silly trang. SR don't do the smiling thang.
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SandRider
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby SandRider » 23 Apr 2012 22:22

:archival note:

this thread came about in response to some off-the-cuff post I made @the time,
(and someone else can SEARCH and find that post, WTF am I, the Library of Congress?
do your own homework ...) IN WHICH I SAID that "any questions" could be directed
to "Dear Sandrider (C/O your local newspaper)", which my friend, lotek, He of the
Undecided Nationality, posed the above question (in the the semi-guise of Keith,
altho it did sound more like (my) Spanky McDune) ... &thus did hilarity ensue ....
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
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I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people.
~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008

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Freakzilla
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby Freakzilla » 23 Apr 2012 22:58

SandRider wrote: which my friend, lotek, He of the Undecided Nationality


He's obviously Irish.
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SandRider
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby SandRider » 23 Apr 2012 23:05

that was uncalled for ...
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
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I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people.
~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008

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Freakzilla
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby Freakzilla » 23 Apr 2012 23:12

Call me Scottish...
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Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman

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SandRider
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby SandRider » 23 Apr 2012 23:20

I as well,of course, but you can't be layin the Downfall of Western
Civilisation on the poor Irish w/o taking into consideration the culpability
of the Roman Catholic Church, she who what led our gud Celtic Brethren
astray in the First ....
................ I exist only to amuse myself ................
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I personally feel that this message board, Jacurutu, is full of hateful folks who don't know
how to fully interact with people.
~ "Spice Grandson" (Bryon Merrit) 08 June 2008

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lotek
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby lotek » 24 Apr 2012 05:12

the only good st patrick is a drunk st patrick
Spice is the worm's gonads.

gurensan
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby gurensan » 24 Apr 2012 17:02

Freakzilla wrote:
SandRider wrote: which my friend, lotek, He of the Undecided Nationality


He's obviously Irish.


Well he's definitely not Amish. They don't believe in dick taters.
If you fart in the wilderness, and a bear eats you before you can smell it, does it matter if it makes an odor?

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lotek
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Re: Dear Sandrider(C/O your local paper)

Postby lotek » 25 Apr 2012 05:49

I believe in oak tatters.
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Spice is the worm's gonads.


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