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What's this...?

Posted: 19 Apr 2010 08:58
by Mr. Teg

Re: What's this...?

Posted: 19 Apr 2010 10:01
by lotek
yeah what IS it?

Re: What's this...?

Posted: 19 Apr 2010 10:06
by TheDukester
It's crap is what it is.

Re: What's this...?

Posted: 19 Apr 2010 10:10
by Freakzilla
Image

Re: What's this...?

Posted: 19 Apr 2010 10:15
by TheDukester
That shit was actually published, believe it or not. It was like TheJacket's big breakthrough back in the late '80s, in fact:

http://goo.gl/WpkA

Funny thing: Keith likes to go on and on about "his craft," yet nothing has changed. He hasn't developed at all as a writer in 20-plus years.

Re: What's this...?

Posted: 19 Apr 2010 10:28
by lotek
journeyman indeed!

Re: What's this...?

Posted: 26 Apr 2010 06:39
by trang
I started to fall asleep after the first paragraph and my head started to hurt! must be his
scrawlings.

Re: What's this...?

Posted: 26 Apr 2010 12:21
by Omphalos
There's a bunch of names at the beginning of that in a "thank you" paragraph. I wonder if any of those people are in his current stable of "proofers and fact-checkers?" Beason (Doug) was a co-author of several books, and Rausch is a well known editor and author, but I've never heard of any of the others.

Re: What's this...?

Posted: 26 Apr 2010 12:33
by TheDukester
Rausch is a huge Anderjacket lickspittle lackey.

They give each other Twitter shout-outs constantly and also have cyber-sex via blogs and other platforms. Worse, though, they've been giving each other those worthless author blurbs for about 20 years now. One of them could write a grocery list and the other would gush about how great it was. It's sickening.

Re: What's this...?

Posted: 26 Apr 2010 12:37
by Hunchback Jack
Yeah one review for Dogged Persistence spent a bunch of space on Rusch's intro to the collection, where she basically opined that KJA's work will outlive that of critical darlings because he writes so damn much - and he was a *true* SF phenomenon because of it.

Birds of a feather, methinks.

HBJ

Re: What's this...?

Posted: 26 Apr 2010 13:43
by SandChigger
Who? I've never heard of her except in a "Let me gush from my gash some more about KJA!"

Image

Re: What's this...?

Posted: 26 Apr 2010 13:57
by Omphalos
Rausch used to have a lot of cred. Her writing was never stellar, but she edited the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction before Gordon van Gelder, and she ran a press called Pulphouse, which kind of devised the current small-press business strategy for success. I can't think of one book by her that I read, but I do recall some short stories. her husband, Dean Wesley Smith; he sems to be pretty hackish.

Re: What's this...?

Posted: 26 Apr 2010 14:14
by SandChigger
Hacks must really get her moisty then, huh? :P

Re: What's this...?

Posted: 26 Apr 2010 16:59
by Ampoliros
Wait, is that AD&D fanfic? As in the game, not the universe? Seriously? Seriously?

Re: What's this...?

Posted: 28 Apr 2010 04:36
by inhuien
That was my impression after reading a page and a half. I Loved the bit where he told us that the hex lines ran North/South.

Re: What's this...?

Posted: 28 Apr 2010 05:04
by SandChigger
A cloud of wasps and flies fell upon one of the breeder groups of goblins, stinging again and again like the fay jibes of their non-breeder brethren. A gray wolf and a sharp-antlered stag charged among other demons, the stag skewering demon after demon, some of them even with its horns. Beetles and spiders covered the fur of both, but the cute little creatures jumped off and set upon the monsters with every illicit contact.

A black bear roared and threw herself on a thin, oily-skinned demon. The bear mauled at the monster with widely spread claws while the demon defended itself with its own iron sword, its bloodlust enflamed by the cries of "You go girl!" from behind it in its own troops. The bear ripped the demon's oily flesh to spill entrails that smoked cerulean and mauve, with a slight hint of chartreuse, in the cooling evening air.

Delmonte continued forward, setting his jaw. It had been broken twice earlier in the battle. "Erec tile Dis functio!" he cried the arcane words of the ancient bone-setting charm, and concentrated on moving toward Scartarass as he slashed at several obviously gender-confused goblins. The mountain laird rose up across the battlefield, his ginormous bulk mostly on the other side of a double-whammy hex-line.


DAYUM! That's ripping good ... stuff! No room for improvement there! POLISHED PROSE™!!! :P

Re: What's this...?

Posted: 01 May 2010 04:14
by Orthodox
Reads off like a porn involving some un-visited nerd fetishes. Starting to think that maybe someone should have been a sex fantasy writer by reading this.

SandChigger wrote:A cloud of wasps and flies fell upon one of the breeder groups of goblins, stinging again and again like the fay jibes of their non-breeder brethren. A gray wolf and a sharp-antlered stag charged among other demons, the stag skewering demon after demon, some of them even with its horns. Beetles and spiders covered the fur of both, but the cute little creatures jumped off and set upon the monsters with every illicit contact.


The bolded line sounds like someone was visiting the porn store at 3am looking for the weirdest fantasy porn possible.

illicit: that which is unlawful to act upon, i.e.: Beastiality.

A black bear roared and threw herself on a thin, oily-skinned demon.


Oh come on, really? Oily... Hm. Okay, I see Mineral oil here. It's getting more pre-internet beastie porn fic.

The bear mauled at the monster with widely spread claws while the demon defended itself with its own iron sword, its bloodlust enflamed by the cries of "You go girl!"


Oh, so it's fem-dom thing now. Okay.. except the fem is a bear. Maybe Kevin forgot to mention a bikini or something here. Of course the way it's phrased, it could very well mean the demon is a girl. An oily girl. Which, when girls are covered in oil, usually something happens with a Kama Sutra book.

from behind


Gay porn?

it in its own troops. The bear ripped the demon's oily flesh to spill entrails that smoked cerulean and mauve, with a slight hint of chartreuse, in the cooling evening air.


Oh, yep. Gay porn. Chartreuse is a well known gay color. (I would know).

Delmonte continued forward, setting his jaw. It had been broken twice earlier in the battle.


Watch out for the fem-dom bears, you silly twink!

"Erec tile Dis functio!" he cried the arcane words of the ancient bone-setting charm, and concentrated on moving toward Scartarass as he slashed at several obviously gender-confused goblins. The mountain laird rose up across the battlefield, his ginormous bulk mostly on the other side of a double-whammy hex-line.


Ah! Tranny time!

Okay, so... someone was watching some really weird porn. So far, I've seen fem-dom inter-species bear and twinks, with oily demons getting spanked with a stag's horn (sometimes), while gay themes and colors are spewed everywhere, and transexual goblins are making a muck of things.

This is epic.

Did KJA write this, or was this a rip? I wouldn't be surprised if it was KJA.

Re: What's this...?

Posted: 01 May 2010 06:39
by SandChigger
Well, as usual, he had a ... coauthor's help on that. :lol:

Which I'm almost afraid to admit, since it might reveal that I might have as many issues as a Norman Okie! :P

(I don't know ... I was reading through it and the phrase "breeder goblins" got stuck in my head and I just couldn't exercise it except by writing it out. I wanted to improve on the "oily-skinned" thing, but everything I tried just made it even more racist! :? )

Re: What's this...?

Posted: 01 May 2010 11:13
by Ampoliros
Excelsior!