Hellhole Website now up

Image
    Non-dune discussion

Moderators: ᴶᵛᵀᴬ, Omphalos, Freakzilla

User avatar
SandChigger
KJASF Ground Zero
Posts: 14490
Joined: 08 Feb 2008 22:29
Location: "Whatcha having, shoog? Hurry up and order now, I ain't got all day!"
Contact:

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby SandChigger » 23 Aug 2010 12:28

Mr Teg and I traded BoBo books last year and I read Sidney's Comet and he read the first volume of the Timewub series (which, as a reminder, I had and have only skimmed through scattered bits of).

After the crap that is Timeweb and, of course, the McDune books, Comet actually seemed much better written and actually fairly amusing, especially considering it was written in the early/mid 80s. I could almost imagine myself having liked it had I read it back then. At least at first.

By the end, though, everything just seemed really tired and stupid, even for something intended as satire and farce. And the references to "cappies" (handicapped people) got to be REALLY old.

I guess that was the main problem: it just went on for too long.
I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA

User avatar
merkin muffley
Posts: 1584
Joined: 23 Apr 2010 15:18
Location: War Room

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby merkin muffley » 23 Aug 2010 22:50

I read some of that Timeweb shit in some of these threads. It was textbook SHITE. It was like he was trying to cram as many adjectives and adverbs as possible into every sentence. Brian Herbert is no writer.
"I must admit, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor...."

User avatar
DuneFishUK
Posts: 1988
Joined: 25 May 2008 14:14
Location: Cool Britannia
Contact:

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby DuneFishUK » 24 Aug 2010 06:19

I keep thinking these hacks should improve as they become more experienced writers.


They don't.

:?

User avatar
Serkanner
Posts: 2828
Joined: 17 Feb 2008 18:44
Location: Den Haag - The Netherlands

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby Serkanner » 24 Aug 2010 07:12

DuneFishUK wrote:I keep thinking these hacks should improve as they become more experienced writers.


They don't.

:?


You can learn a monkey a trick, but in the end it is still a monkey.
"... the mystery of life isn't a problem to solve but a reality to experience."

“There is no escape—we pay for the violence of our ancestors.”

Sandrider: "Keith went to Bobo's for a weekend of drinking, watched some DVDs,
and wrote a Dune Novel."

User avatar
merkin muffley
Posts: 1584
Joined: 23 Apr 2010 15:18
Location: War Room

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby merkin muffley » 24 Aug 2010 07:49

Serkanner wrote:
DuneFishUK wrote:I keep thinking these hacks should improve as they become more experienced writers.
They don't.
:?

You can learn a monkey a trick, but in the end it is still a monkey.



When your sole motivation is to mass produce something that has enough explosions and robots to satisfy a tween audience, you're not going to get any better at writing. You end up dictating most of your drafts in the car, on the way to the summit of one of the 14ers.

It's possible that they would get better if they gave a shit about good writing, but they're happy to insult good writers as critical darlings and resent Frank Herbert for leaving action scenes "off-screen" (He could've got at least four massacres and a sex scene out of that backstory!)
"I must admit, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor...."

User avatar
lotek
Posts: 5735
Joined: 28 Jul 2009 08:33

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby lotek » 24 Aug 2010 07:59

merkin muffley wrote:He could've got at least four massacres and a sex scene out of that backstory!)


yeah I think you hit a nerve there, the frustration that keith must have felt when reading Dune and not understanding the reason why there was hardly any pew pew bonk bonk is so obvious you could write a whole backstory with it!

And now he feels he has the chance to correct that, change literary history to make it fit his narrow and dumb views of writing...
Spice is the worm's gonads.

User avatar
SandChigger
KJASF Ground Zero
Posts: 14490
Joined: 08 Feb 2008 22:29
Location: "Whatcha having, shoog? Hurry up and order now, I ain't got all day!"
Contact:

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby SandChigger » 24 Aug 2010 11:37

pew pew bonk bonk :shock:

"I can smell a graphic battle-n-sexer scene from a mile away anymore!" :laughing-rolling:



(Don't worry, I'll get it out of my system in another day or two. :P )
I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA

User avatar
Nekhrun
Icelandic Wiener
Posts: 3288
Joined: 10 Feb 2008 16:27

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby Nekhrun » 24 Aug 2010 13:31

SandChigger wrote:pew pew bonk bonk :shock:

"I can smell a graphic battle-n-sexer scene from a mile away anymore!" :laughing-rolling:

(Don't worry, I'll get it out of my system in another day or two. :P )

It takes as long as it takes.
"If he was here to discuss Dune, he sure as hell picked a dumb way to do it." -Omphalos :character-cookiemonster:

Happy Memorial Day everyone! -James C. Harwood

"Three of my videos have over 100 views."
"Over 500 views for my 'Open Question' video." -Nebiros

User avatar
Drunken Idaho
Posts: 1197
Joined: 15 Sep 2008 23:56
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby Drunken Idaho » 24 Aug 2010 13:55

Ohh, this topic is fun :)

Forgive me for being totally uninformed, but has a plot description of Smellhole been released in any form? Anyone have a clue as to what it's about?

If so, I'm wondering if it's time for another bullshit first chapter to a new KJA book I know virtually nothing about a la Terrib El Cognito.

I tried checking Keith's DN blog for info, but I'm seeing nothing but hilarious spam for pages and pages... Awesome!
"The Idahos were never ordinary people."
-Reverend Mother Superior Alma Mavis Taraza

User avatar
Sev
Posts: 313
Joined: 05 Mar 2009 11:51
Location: Peterborough, UK

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby Sev » 24 Aug 2010 14:10

Drunken Idaho wrote:...has a plot description of Smellhole been released in any form?


Here's the blurb from the U.K. publisher:

Only the most desperate would ever dare to make a new home on Hellhole, a planet ravaged by natural disasters. Persistent volcanic eruptions, destructive storms and recent damage inflicted by asteroid impact make the planet a dumping ground for undesirables, misfits and charlatans. But its location out on the wild frontiers of the Constellation, among the Deep Zone worlds, makes it the final refuge for those fleeing from the rule of Diadem Michella Duchenet - a tyrant with a sweet face, but a dark and heardened heart. General Adolphus, the military leader exiled to the planet when he was defeated in the first revolution against the Diadem, is determined to transform Hellhole into a place of opportunity. While the colonists are diligently working to develop the planet, the General is forging secret alliances with the leaders of the other Deep Zone worlds. He dreams of turning his prison into the centre of a new coalition of planets free from the Diadem's iron grip.

Back on the decadent capital planet of Sonjeera, surrounded by corruption and consumed by the plots and feuds of the old guard nobles, Diadem Michella is confident that the General has been neutralized. She has no idea of the revolt growing in the Deep Zone ...or does she?

But what no one knows is this: the planet Hellhole, though damaged and volatile, hides secrets of historic magnitude. Lurking beneath the surface are the remnants of an obliterated alien civilization, detailing an unrecorded past, which, if unearthed, could tear the fragile human civilization apart.


Have fun with it!!
Freakzilla - "Apparently we can only aspire to be the 13th biggest Dune fan since we are not family or in the HLP."

Byron - "Are you trying to irk me?"

User avatar
inhuien
Posts: 3629
Joined: 09 Feb 2008 05:03
Location: right here as in not (all) there

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby inhuien » 24 Aug 2010 14:31

Man, people should just read Harry Harrisons Deathworld books, at least they're a good laugh.

Image
Image

User avatar
Drunken Idaho
Posts: 1197
Joined: 15 Sep 2008 23:56
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby Drunken Idaho » 24 Aug 2010 14:42

Sev wrote:
Drunken Idaho wrote:...has a plot description of Smellhole been released in any form?


Here's the blurb from the U.K. publisher:

Only the most desperate would ever dare to make a new home on Hellhole, a planet ravaged by natural disasters. Persistent volcanic eruptions, destructive storms and recent damage inflicted by asteroid impact make the planet a dumping ground for undesirables, misfits and charlatans. But its location out on the wild frontiers of the Constellation, among the Deep Zone worlds, makes it the final refuge for those fleeing from the rule of Diadem Michella Duchenet - a tyrant with a sweet face, but a dark and heardened heart. General Adolphus, the military leader exiled to the planet when he was defeated in the first revolution against the Diadem, is determined to transform Hellhole into a place of opportunity. While the colonists are diligently working to develop the planet, the General is forging secret alliances with the leaders of the other Deep Zone worlds. He dreams of turning his prison into the centre of a new coalition of planets free from the Diadem's iron grip.

Back on the decadent capital planet of Sonjeera, surrounded by corruption and consumed by the plots and feuds of the old guard nobles, Diadem Michella is confident that the General has been neutralized. She has no idea of the revolt growing in the Deep Zone ...or does she?

But what no one knows is this: the planet Hellhole, though damaged and volatile, hides secrets of historic magnitude. Lurking beneath the surface are the remnants of an obliterated alien civilization, detailing an unrecorded past, which, if unearthed, could tear the fragile human civilization apart.


Have fun with it!!


Thanks! It sounds really dumb, naturally... "She has no idea of the great revolt growing in the Deep Zone... or does she?" Well which is it?! One could present any falsehood about a book in its publishers' blurb, and easily follow it up with "Or does it?"

George and Lennie have no plans to escape their destitute existence... Or do they?
"The Idahos were never ordinary people."
-Reverend Mother Superior Alma Mavis Taraza

User avatar
Freakzilla
Lead Singer and Driver of the Winnebego
Posts: 18147
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 01:27
Location: Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Contact:

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby Freakzilla » 24 Aug 2010 15:14

I BET her deep zone in revolting. :puke:
Image
Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman

User avatar
Drunken Idaho
Posts: 1197
Joined: 15 Sep 2008 23:56
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby Drunken Idaho » 24 Aug 2010 15:22

Freakzilla wrote:I BET her deep zone in revolting. :puke:


Or is it?

:shock:
"The Idahos were never ordinary people."
-Reverend Mother Superior Alma Mavis Taraza

User avatar
Freakzilla
Lead Singer and Driver of the Winnebego
Posts: 18147
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 01:27
Location: Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Contact:

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby Freakzilla » 24 Aug 2010 15:47

Where the hell have YOU been?
Image
Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman

User avatar
Drunken Idaho
Posts: 1197
Joined: 15 Sep 2008 23:56
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby Drunken Idaho » 24 Aug 2010 16:00

I have no real excuse for my absence... I popped in from time to time just to read about what y'all were talking about, but was too lazy to post. That is, until I read this thread of course! Hilarious news about Death-Knellhole, with the test markets and so on... Really makes me want to write another bullshit first chapter.
"The Idahos were never ordinary people."
-Reverend Mother Superior Alma Mavis Taraza

User avatar
Kojiro
Posts: 502
Joined: 09 Jul 2010 23:15
Location: Frank Herbert's Old Stomping Grounds
Contact:

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby Kojiro » 24 Aug 2010 17:17

Sev wrote:
Drunken Idaho wrote:...has a plot description of Smellhole been released in any form?


Here's the blurb from the U.K. publisher:

Only the most desperate would ever dare to make a new home on Hellhole, a planet ravaged by natural disasters. Persistent volcanic eruptions, destructive storms and recent damage inflicted by asteroid impact make the planet a dumping ground for undesirables, misfits and charlatans. But its location out on the wild frontiers of the Constellation, among the Deep Zone worlds, makes it the final refuge for those fleeing from the rule of Diadem Michella Duchenet - a tyrant with a sweet face, but a dark and heardened heart. General Adolphus, the military leader exiled to the planet when he was defeated in the first revolution against the Diadem, is determined to transform Hellhole into a place of opportunity. While the colonists are diligently working to develop the planet, the General is forging secret alliances with the leaders of the other Deep Zone worlds. He dreams of turning his prison into the centre of a new coalition of planets free from the Diadem's iron grip.

Back on the decadent capital planet of Sonjeera, surrounded by corruption and consumed by the plots and feuds of the old guard nobles, Diadem Michella is confident that the General has been neutralized. She has no idea of the revolt growing in the Deep Zone ...or does she?

But what no one knows is this: the planet Hellhole, though damaged and volatile, hides secrets of historic magnitude. Lurking beneath the surface are the remnants of an obliterated alien civilization, detailing an unrecorded past, which, if unearthed, could tear the fragile human civilization apart.


Have fun with it!!


I think I've read this story before. Of course back then it was better written and by someone else.
Has not religion claimed a patent on creation for all of these millennia?
-The Tleilaxu Question,
from Muad'dib Speaks

D Pope
Posts: 1500
Joined: 14 May 2010 14:11
Location: Grubville

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby D Pope » 24 Aug 2010 18:27

inhuien wrote:Man, people should just read Harry Harrisons Deathworld books, at least they're a good laugh.

Image

I have an embarrasing number of Stainless Steel Rat books and the Eden trilogy. Not bad that last, guilty pleasure that first.
Leto II is gone for good, except for OM. The "pearl" was just that; a miniscule portion of what Leto was, and not a compressed version of the whole. The pearl that the worms have do not make them Leto, or in any way similar to him.
-Omphalos

User avatar
SandChigger
KJASF Ground Zero
Posts: 14490
Joined: 08 Feb 2008 22:29
Location: "Whatcha having, shoog? Hurry up and order now, I ain't got all day!"
Contact:

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby SandChigger » 24 Aug 2010 19:25

I want to be ruled over and have my evil smelt by the Diadem Michella Douche-net. :pray:

:laughing-rolling:

It's going to be absolute shit! :D
I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA

User avatar
merkin muffley
Posts: 1584
Joined: 23 Apr 2010 15:18
Location: War Room

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby merkin muffley » 25 Aug 2010 08:01

makes it the final refuge for those fleeing from the rule of Diadem Michella Duchenet - a tyrant with a sweet face


:shock: What!? Douchenet, the tyrant with a sweet face? Are we sure this isn't all just an elaborate practical joke...

She has no idea of the revolt growing in the Deep Zone ...or does she?


Oh, CHIT! Something revolting is brewing in the sweet-faced Douchenet's Deep Zone!!! Does she have any idea? Or doesn't she?

Does she, or doesn't she? I want to know. Seriously...

Does she?
"I must admit, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor...."

User avatar
Nekhrun
Icelandic Wiener
Posts: 3288
Joined: 10 Feb 2008 16:27

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby Nekhrun » 25 Aug 2010 08:20

I'll bet that she does. I can't wait to read this fucker! Alas, only another few years before it sees the light of day.
"If he was here to discuss Dune, he sure as hell picked a dumb way to do it." -Omphalos :character-cookiemonster:

Happy Memorial Day everyone! -James C. Harwood

"Three of my videos have over 100 views."
"Over 500 views for my 'Open Question' video." -Nebiros

User avatar
lotek
Posts: 5735
Joined: 28 Jul 2009 08:33

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby lotek » 25 Aug 2010 08:33

I feel a growler coming up the trail!
Spice is the worm's gonads.

User avatar
Drunken Idaho
Posts: 1197
Joined: 15 Sep 2008 23:56
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby Drunken Idaho » 25 Aug 2010 14:13

Nekhrun wrote:I'll bet that she does. I can't wait to read this fucker! Alas, only another few years before it sees the light of day.


Or is it?

lotek wrote:I feel a growler coming up the trail!


Or do you?


:lol: Okay I'm done now...
"The Idahos were never ordinary people."
-Reverend Mother Superior Alma Mavis Taraza

User avatar
Drunken Idaho
Posts: 1197
Joined: 15 Sep 2008 23:56
Location: Ontario, Canada

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby Drunken Idaho » 25 Aug 2010 14:13

Or am I? :shock:
"The Idahos were never ordinary people."
-Reverend Mother Superior Alma Mavis Taraza

User avatar
lotek
Posts: 5735
Joined: 28 Jul 2009 08:33

Re: Hellhole Website now up

Postby lotek » 26 Aug 2010 10:12

Who are you and
Spice is the worm's gonads.


Return to “˲”