Mini story 3rd draft
Posted: 04 Oct 2009 09:24
Way back in September of last year I posted a second draft of a mini story I was working on, then due to moving out, decorating, finding a new job, moving out again and decorating again I've not had time to continue with it. However now that I am working on writing my own book I find it hard to let nothing come of this story, so what I've decided to do was use the mini story as a means to help develop my writing style. Over the weekend I've gone through the draft, making changes to the story and format, cutting and adding parts here and there from feedback I've received. I would appreciate any feedback on the style of writing, does it flow or is it just a series of broken bits and pieces stuck together? What in your opinion would make it better? And for a bit of fun if you want to suggest what you think should happen next in the story (apart from the obvious sandworm killing KJA) let me know and I'll write it into the story, I can't see why we couldn't have our own little mini saga going on here.
Anyway I'd be more than appreciative of any feedback you have (Do try to be gentle
)
http://www.andrewarmstrong.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Docs/DuneMinistorydraft3.doc
Anyway I'd be more than appreciative of any feedback you have (Do try to be gentle


http://www.andrewarmstrong.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Docs/DuneMinistorydraft3.doc