What's this...?

Image
    Non-dune discussion

Moderators: ᴶᵛᵀᴬ, Omphalos, Freakzilla

User avatar
Mr. Teg
Moderator
Posts: 699
Joined: 11 Feb 2008 10:14
Location: Chair
Contact:

What's this...?

Postby Mr. Teg » 19 Apr 2010 08:58

CHOAM
Combine Herbert Ober Anderson Mercantile, Narf!
Brian, Kevin & Byron Image The HLP

User avatar
lotek
Posts: 5734
Joined: 28 Jul 2009 08:33

Re: What's this...?

Postby lotek » 19 Apr 2010 10:01

yeah what IS it?
Spice is the worm's gonads.

User avatar
TheDukester
Posts: 3808
Joined: 20 Jun 2008 13:44
Location: Operation Enduring Bacon
Contact:

Re: What's this...?

Postby TheDukester » 19 Apr 2010 10:06

It's crap is what it is.
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.

User avatar
Freakzilla
Lead Singer and Driver of the Winnebego
Posts: 18126
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 01:27
Location: Atlanta, Georgia, USA
Contact:

Re: What's this...?

Postby Freakzilla » 19 Apr 2010 10:10

Image
Image
Paul of Dune was so bad it gave me a seizure that dislocated both of my shoulders and prolapsed my anus.
~Pink Snowman

User avatar
TheDukester
Posts: 3808
Joined: 20 Jun 2008 13:44
Location: Operation Enduring Bacon
Contact:

Re: What's this...?

Postby TheDukester » 19 Apr 2010 10:15

That shit was actually published, believe it or not. It was like TheJacket's big breakthrough back in the late '80s, in fact:

http://goo.gl/WpkA

Funny thing: Keith likes to go on and on about "his craft," yet nothing has changed. He hasn't developed at all as a writer in 20-plus years.
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.

User avatar
lotek
Posts: 5734
Joined: 28 Jul 2009 08:33

Re: What's this...?

Postby lotek » 19 Apr 2010 10:28

journeyman indeed!
Spice is the worm's gonads.

User avatar
trang
Posts: 1221
Joined: 06 May 2008 18:59
Location: Hot Tub Time Machine
Contact:

Re: What's this...?

Postby trang » 26 Apr 2010 06:39

I started to fall asleep after the first paragraph and my head started to hurt! must be his
scrawlings.
"Long Live the Fighters", "Dragon.....the other white meat."

Image

User avatar
Omphalos
Inglorious Bastard
Posts: 6614
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 11:07
Location: The Mighty Central Valley of California
Contact:

Re: What's this...?

Postby Omphalos » 26 Apr 2010 12:21

There's a bunch of names at the beginning of that in a "thank you" paragraph. I wonder if any of those people are in his current stable of "proofers and fact-checkers?" Beason (Doug) was a co-author of several books, and Rausch is a well known editor and author, but I've never heard of any of the others.

User avatar
TheDukester
Posts: 3808
Joined: 20 Jun 2008 13:44
Location: Operation Enduring Bacon
Contact:

Re: What's this...?

Postby TheDukester » 26 Apr 2010 12:33

Rausch is a huge Anderjacket lickspittle lackey.

They give each other Twitter shout-outs constantly and also have cyber-sex via blogs and other platforms. Worse, though, they've been giving each other those worthless author blurbs for about 20 years now. One of them could write a grocery list and the other would gush about how great it was. It's sickening.
"Anything I write will be remembered and listed in bibliographies on Dune for several hundred years ..." — some delusional halfwit troll.

User avatar
Hunchback Jack
Posts: 1982
Joined: 30 May 2008 15:02
Location: California, USA

Re: What's this...?

Postby Hunchback Jack » 26 Apr 2010 12:37

Yeah one review for Dogged Persistence spent a bunch of space on Rusch's intro to the collection, where she basically opined that KJA's work will outlive that of critical darlings because he writes so damn much - and he was a *true* SF phenomenon because of it.

Birds of a feather, methinks.

HBJ
"The sky calls to us. If we do not destroy ourselves, we will one day venture to the stars."
- Carl Sagan

I'm still very proud of The Quarry but … let's face it; in the end the real best way to sign off would have been with a great big rollicking Culture novel.
- Iain Banks

User avatar
SandChigger
KJASF Ground Zero
Posts: 14490
Joined: 08 Feb 2008 22:29
Location: "Whatcha having, shoog? Hurry up and order now, I ain't got all day!"
Contact:

Re: What's this...?

Postby SandChigger » 26 Apr 2010 13:43

Who? I've never heard of her except in a "Let me gush from my gash some more about KJA!"

Image
I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA

User avatar
Omphalos
Inglorious Bastard
Posts: 6614
Joined: 05 Feb 2008 11:07
Location: The Mighty Central Valley of California
Contact:

Re: What's this...?

Postby Omphalos » 26 Apr 2010 13:57

Rausch used to have a lot of cred. Her writing was never stellar, but she edited the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction before Gordon van Gelder, and she ran a press called Pulphouse, which kind of devised the current small-press business strategy for success. I can't think of one book by her that I read, but I do recall some short stories. her husband, Dean Wesley Smith; he sems to be pretty hackish.

User avatar
SandChigger
KJASF Ground Zero
Posts: 14490
Joined: 08 Feb 2008 22:29
Location: "Whatcha having, shoog? Hurry up and order now, I ain't got all day!"
Contact:

Re: What's this...?

Postby SandChigger » 26 Apr 2010 14:14

Hacks must really get her moisty then, huh? :P
I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA

User avatar
Ampoliros
Posts: 2517
Joined: 14 Mar 2008 11:22
Location: I think we took a wrong turn...

Re: What's this...?

Postby Ampoliros » 26 Apr 2010 16:59

Wait, is that AD&D fanfic? As in the game, not the universe? Seriously? Seriously?
Semper Fidelis Tyrannosaurus

User avatar
inhuien
Posts: 3629
Joined: 09 Feb 2008 05:03
Location: right here as in not (all) there

Re: What's this...?

Postby inhuien » 28 Apr 2010 04:36

That was my impression after reading a page and a half. I Loved the bit where he told us that the hex lines ran North/South.
Image

User avatar
SandChigger
KJASF Ground Zero
Posts: 14490
Joined: 08 Feb 2008 22:29
Location: "Whatcha having, shoog? Hurry up and order now, I ain't got all day!"
Contact:

Re: What's this...?

Postby SandChigger » 28 Apr 2010 05:04

A cloud of wasps and flies fell upon one of the breeder groups of goblins, stinging again and again like the fay jibes of their non-breeder brethren. A gray wolf and a sharp-antlered stag charged among other demons, the stag skewering demon after demon, some of them even with its horns. Beetles and spiders covered the fur of both, but the cute little creatures jumped off and set upon the monsters with every illicit contact.

A black bear roared and threw herself on a thin, oily-skinned demon. The bear mauled at the monster with widely spread claws while the demon defended itself with its own iron sword, its bloodlust enflamed by the cries of "You go girl!" from behind it in its own troops. The bear ripped the demon's oily flesh to spill entrails that smoked cerulean and mauve, with a slight hint of chartreuse, in the cooling evening air.

Delmonte continued forward, setting his jaw. It had been broken twice earlier in the battle. "Erec tile Dis functio!" he cried the arcane words of the ancient bone-setting charm, and concentrated on moving toward Scartarass as he slashed at several obviously gender-confused goblins. The mountain laird rose up across the battlefield, his ginormous bulk mostly on the other side of a double-whammy hex-line.


DAYUM! That's ripping good ... stuff! No room for improvement there! POLISHED PROSE™!!! :P
I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA

User avatar
Orthodox
Posts: 61
Joined: 29 Mar 2010 09:35

Re: What's this...?

Postby Orthodox » 01 May 2010 04:14

Reads off like a porn involving some un-visited nerd fetishes. Starting to think that maybe someone should have been a sex fantasy writer by reading this.

SandChigger wrote:A cloud of wasps and flies fell upon one of the breeder groups of goblins, stinging again and again like the fay jibes of their non-breeder brethren. A gray wolf and a sharp-antlered stag charged among other demons, the stag skewering demon after demon, some of them even with its horns. Beetles and spiders covered the fur of both, but the cute little creatures jumped off and set upon the monsters with every illicit contact.


The bolded line sounds like someone was visiting the porn store at 3am looking for the weirdest fantasy porn possible.

illicit: that which is unlawful to act upon, i.e.: Beastiality.

A black bear roared and threw herself on a thin, oily-skinned demon.


Oh come on, really? Oily... Hm. Okay, I see Mineral oil here. It's getting more pre-internet beastie porn fic.

The bear mauled at the monster with widely spread claws while the demon defended itself with its own iron sword, its bloodlust enflamed by the cries of "You go girl!"


Oh, so it's fem-dom thing now. Okay.. except the fem is a bear. Maybe Kevin forgot to mention a bikini or something here. Of course the way it's phrased, it could very well mean the demon is a girl. An oily girl. Which, when girls are covered in oil, usually something happens with a Kama Sutra book.

from behind


Gay porn?

it in its own troops. The bear ripped the demon's oily flesh to spill entrails that smoked cerulean and mauve, with a slight hint of chartreuse, in the cooling evening air.


Oh, yep. Gay porn. Chartreuse is a well known gay color. (I would know).

Delmonte continued forward, setting his jaw. It had been broken twice earlier in the battle.


Watch out for the fem-dom bears, you silly twink!

"Erec tile Dis functio!" he cried the arcane words of the ancient bone-setting charm, and concentrated on moving toward Scartarass as he slashed at several obviously gender-confused goblins. The mountain laird rose up across the battlefield, his ginormous bulk mostly on the other side of a double-whammy hex-line.


Ah! Tranny time!

Okay, so... someone was watching some really weird porn. So far, I've seen fem-dom inter-species bear and twinks, with oily demons getting spanked with a stag's horn (sometimes), while gay themes and colors are spewed everywhere, and transexual goblins are making a muck of things.

This is epic.

Did KJA write this, or was this a rip? I wouldn't be surprised if it was KJA.
Image
Any road followed precisely to its end leads precisely nowhere. Climb the mountain just a little bit to test it's a mountain. From the top of the mountain, you cannot see the mountain. -- Frank Herbert

User avatar
SandChigger
KJASF Ground Zero
Posts: 14490
Joined: 08 Feb 2008 22:29
Location: "Whatcha having, shoog? Hurry up and order now, I ain't got all day!"
Contact:

Re: What's this...?

Postby SandChigger » 01 May 2010 06:39

Well, as usual, he had a ... coauthor's help on that. :lol:

Which I'm almost afraid to admit, since it might reveal that I might have as many issues as a Norman Okie! :P

(I don't know ... I was reading through it and the phrase "breeder goblins" got stuck in my head and I just couldn't exercise it except by writing it out. I wanted to improve on the "oily-skinned" thing, but everything I tried just made it even more racist! :? )
I have heard of only one mistake that doesn’t have an explanation for a careful reader...with an open mind. (And, no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) —KJA

I don't like every writer's style; for instance, I have never been able to get through Ursula LeGuin, China Mieville, or Iain Banks, all of whom are critical darlings. —KJA

I...had written a bunch of Star Wars and X-Files books...that proved not just that I'm a hack, but that I could write in somebody else's universe... —KJA

User avatar
Ampoliros
Posts: 2517
Joined: 14 Mar 2008 11:22
Location: I think we took a wrong turn...

Re: What's this...?

Postby Ampoliros » 01 May 2010 11:13

Excelsior!
Semper Fidelis Tyrannosaurus


Return to “˲”